Clarity of Innocence

It’s their life!

How can we best help them to have the best life possible?

We support their own efforts, just like nature does.

All life is self driven. Simply providing that, removes just about all the conflict in these relationships.

The only life on the planet that doesn’t encourage their offspring to own, and direct their own drive to survival, is mankind’s.

Contrary to the ways of nature’s, we prefer obedience.

That doesn’t turn out well.

Apparently it’s critical that the spark come from inside, and that, admittingly does make sense.

Every human adult has issues.

People invent all sorts of philosophies and organizations, all because we are all hurting, to various degrees.

We work to overcome our weaknesses, believing that it’s our failure. Those that choose therapy usually, if not always, find their way back to childhood issues.

Why would that be? Did something go wrong in our childhood?

Imagine a child being completely open, not holding anything back. Quite a thought. That would not go well these days. It would not be appreciated, to say the least. Kids learn what to keep hidden.

Mankind is the only life that feels the need to hide anything.

Why would any of that happen? It seems clear that this is wrong. It should be normal to live out loud. Are we doing something wrong?

Hiding things is the beginning of isolation. It’s unnatural.

In addition to keeping things hidden inside, there is the further isolation of not being listened to.

When our children talk, adults don’t take it seriously. They explain to children how they should be feeling, rather than listening to what the child is actually trying to convey to them. The adults don’t want that answer. Remember how it feels to be that child?

No other life feels the need to hold anything back, ever. And that’s the way it should be for people, as well. It’s nature’s normal.

All life is supposed to “live out loud”.

Another way of saying that same thing, is — “all other life feels prouder of themselves, than people do.

Why? Aren’t we supposed to be the dominant species?

When we can all live out loud, like every other life already does, then perhaps we can call ourselves the dominant species!

Well then, what has gone wrong?

We unintentionally put our children into a lifetime of hurt, that’s what.

When we no longer support the attempts of our young to drive their own development, through their own inner resources, as all the rest of nature does, hurt is what happens.

This seemingly innocent miscalculation has inadvertently taken our world into serious conflict.

The millions of problems mankind faces, all come from that single source.

That’s a big thing to announce. It sounds exaggerated. Could there really be anything to that astonishing statement?

All life is self driven. The power comes from inside, and that drive is imperative. It’s not a choice. It’s a life or death supercharged blast into survival.

What works best. Helping and supporting that drive, or asking the child for obedience? To be obedient a child has to oppose and overpower their own identity, which is fully engaged in driving them into survival.

That force cannot be ignored! Trying to ignore it puts a person deep into hurt. More hurt than it’s possible to live with.

That’s that’s wrong, and it’s pretty much all that’s wrong!

We put our children into enough hurt that they need to disconnect from their own feelings to ease that discomfort.

They grow up that way, creating their own new world. That ubiquitous hurt should certainly produce a different world, and it has!

Well then, what could we do to stop the damage, and what improvements should we expect from it?

We could let them drive their own bus. Once they trust that, they will ask for help and advice. They will look for direction, and they will listen. There is no need for proof. Try it, and that’s what you get, every time. Obviously it is not going to be instant. The younger the children are, the quicker the change happens.

We could listen, and we could see, instead of parenting through assumptions, that forget to include the child’s real needs.

We don’t perceive our children as they really are!

We don’t see other life very clearly either.

Worldwide conflict comes from assuming we can do whatever we want with our young, and there will be no consequences.

Our world is now damaged. How do we cope? We still make assumptions about people in general, based on what we see. We really can’t trust any of these assumptions. We have caused most of this behavior ourselves.

Our assumptions, based on what we see, are simply not about real, unaltered, and healthy people.

The real world is not as we see it.

Mankind is not destructive. The evil that we suffer through, is not natural to people.

It is man made. Created by mistake!

How do we know?

By the way we magically get happy, healthy, cooperative, and amazingly powerful children, the moment we change our ways, and support our children’s own efforts down their own path!

These children, are indeed, proud of everything that they are!

They are also the very best that we have.

When we look at a child, we imagine needs, and we make assumptions.

These assumptions are supposed to match reality. Wouldn’t you say that’s important?

If we don’t see the real picture, our care will be wrong.

In today’s world, we miss that target, and we miss it by a catastrophically wide margin.

Which means we unknowingly use the wrong methods.

If our car shakes when we go fast, and we add extra oil to fix it, now we have two problems.

That’s what we do with our children.

It causes trouble between us, and those we love so much.

Unknown to us, they would do absolutely anything for us, short of surrendering their own identity.

Most of people on our planet follow the same counterproductive pattern of caregiving.

If we see a dog, but this dog secretly has the heart of a lion, the methods that we try won’t work, because the dog isn’t what we thought.

For most, if not all of us, children are nothing like what we assume.

They are all self driven!

There is a good reason why we all went down this road together, and why we don’t realize that we are causing conflict.

We will eventually get to the reason why we don’t recognize that we are setting up conflict, rather than helping.

For the moment though, let’s stay with the exciting part.

Various fields of worldwide discovery and learning, are converging onto the same understanding. All life has natural needs, and natural rights. When we interfere, and oppose that, bad things happen. It would happen with any life form.

This essay is a snapshot of what we already know, and where we are almost certainly going, in our developing understanding of life.

What then, is the real nature of a child.

The power and the energy come from inside.

That’s nature talking. It’s how all life survives.

For every child the strength comes from within. It really needs to stay that way. It’s what life is!

It has to be this way, always!

Whatever we do, and however we manage, we have to avoid conflicting with that natural need.

If we challenge, and overpower it, we put that child deeply into hurt, which will normally be there for life.

That has happened too many times already. That’s how to create a truly evil person. Enough hurt causes a complete disconnection of human empathy.

That’s the first epiphany. We can’t do whatever we want. We have to always respect that all the power and drive are going to come from within the child. It will stay that way for life. It’s supposed to. That’s health. That’s life.

There is a second epiphany. All life can only be the one thing that was created. It can’t successfully be any other thing.

We might want a fighter, or we might want an artist, and none of that matters. It can only be what was created. If we can’t accept that, prepare for lots of conflict, and a troubled child, then a troubled adult.

This short presentation has already outlined everything that really needs to be recognized and applied. All of this works like magic.

There are some who are going to recognize the enormous consequences of applying these two actions. It causes a completely different world.

It changes everything. It can change civilization. It completely ends the ubiquitous hurt we imbed into our young, with our present methods.

Understanding and honoring these real basic needs could bring us back to “the garden of Eden”, all by itself, and it probably will.

Can you imagine the difference, with everybody on the same page, instead of the defiance and hostility we live with in these times?

Apply it, and kids will not only stop fighting, they will ask what they can do to help.

It really does happen, just like that!

They won’t even fight with each other. The trauma, and the anxiety has been removed. It has been exorcised!

It’s all about respect. That’s all it takes to please everybody.

That’s because it’s what others need. The right to be themselves! The right to exist in their natural state. That’s just what we all need!

We are all used to periods of defiance from our children. Every, and I really do mean every, rebellion we get from our children is a result of our interference with their growth from within.

We disrespect our young, constantly. We ignore their need to survive through their own efforts. Then, one day, our children disrespect us. We are astonished. Caught completely by surprise.

We think they are ungrateful!

What is there to say? Well deserved karma?

Their defiance is the result of our disrespect. What else could we ever expect?

Kids rebel when they hurt. It’s the cause, and the beginning of lifelong conflict.

None of us should be hurting. Perhaps once in a while, when we hurt ourselves.

Respect is the natural condition of all life. Why has it disappeared in mankind’s world? We all hurt! We are all defending ourselves. Let’s put a stop to the need to do that. It starts with the hurt we put our young into, and then it grows.

It shouldn’t be hard to accept this as truth. It makes sense.

Respect is obviously nature’s way. And then, to add to all that, it works absolutely perfectly!

When mankind respects, conflict just goes away.

There is nothing left to fight about! Think about it.

Laid out like this, it just sound like common sense, doesn’t it? How many times a day do we ignore this common sense though? Probably, the same amount as the conflict we live with.

For others adults, trying to work together, the same respect applies. The power of life has to be allowed to come from each person’s core. Each person gets to be the only thing they can successfully be.

Doesn’t that sound so much healthier?

Believe me, conflict just disappears. Why would this be a surprise? It’s just so accurate. Disrespect the real nature of people, and they fight back. Well, why wouldn’t they?

Try living with respect, rather than expectations.

Right away, between people, couples included, endless conflict turns into just a few issues, if any.

There simply isn’t a lot left to fight about. Everybody already has what they really need. The therapists of the world won’t have anything to do!

We removed the need to fight back and prove ourselves. All there is left to do is enjoy each other, and life.

Respect for who we are, as a self powered entity is a universal need.

This presentation, although short, brings up many questions. With your permission we will move on to address as many as seems relevant.

The first concern will probably be “how are we going to enforce the rules”?

The answer is, enforcement won’t be necessary. To not go along with everybody else, is an act of defiance, brought about because somebody is hurting.

That feeling won’t be around anymore. It will be a thing of the past. If you don’t believe it, try it out with your kids. Treat them as if they are growing from within themselves, through their own energy, and only require support from you to do it. You are about to be astonished.

The next issue is likely to be, “how can we be sure they will develop the way we wish”?

And the answer is, children are other people. Their life is their own, not ours! We don’t get to decide who they are going to be!

They are each unique, and “who they are” is already fixed. Trying to decide for them will cause a world full of hurt, and conflict. Forcing them to be different than the only thing they can ever be, and still remain healthy, is never good, and never appreciated. Everybody remains confused, and hurting till death. Hopefully, we aren’t going to do that any more!

The next concern? I can visualize some people being uncertain as to whether those young, allowed to develop through their own hearts, will be people we can be proud of, or will some of them turn out bad?

The answer? There are probably none of us who has ever seen what a real, completely undamaged person acts, and looks like.

There will be a complete absence of the hurt that we all have inside, from when we gave up our identity and inner drive, to be obedient.

How do you suppose a human without hurt inside, might act?

I expect it is clear that the more hurt a person carries inside them, the more damage they cause. A person without any hurt will, by nature be cooperative, playful, loving, and infinitely loyal.

Always, a delightful person. We know for sure that the more troubled a person is, the more destruction they cause. The opposite is also true, and far more important.

Some of the other posts offer additional insight.

This blog is clarity-of-innocence.com There many posts, and they all say much the same thing, in different ways.

Thanks for allowing me to be a part of your life.

Norm Cormier.