Clarity of Innocence

Conflict comes from lack of respect!

It may feel like a ubiquitous and hopeless worldwide problem, but conflict is only the immediate consequence of somebody not being respected.

When respect is present, it just never happens.

In other words, conflict is the fighting back that happens from not being appreciated as a complete person, unique in our own right.

This is good news. It means conflict is not natural, and we don’t have to live with it.

We just need to remove the cause.

Does this world lack respect?

No, not the world. People do, but only people.

No other life does that.

What exactly do people do to one another?

When someone looks at us through a lens of preconceived expectations, and doesn’t even see us as we were created, that’s lack of respect.

For one person to do that to another, it is necessary to be “not connected”, or outside of limits of natural life.

Natural limits means the way we were created, and the way all life in nature works.

Most people are not in this condition any more.

It’s the result of being hurt so much, we changed.

And that’s the source of conflict.

Well, that sounds like people everywhere are becoming hurt, changing, then disrespecting others, which then causes conflict.

That’s just what happens!

It’s not harmless! It can cause wars, and worse.

If we stopped the original hurt, would the conflict be gone?

It would!

Which brings up the question, why are people getting hurt in the first place, and is it necessary?

Can we fix it?

Let’s have a look at the way that happens.

The steps to becoming hurt, and then changing!

We are born in great shape. We feel good. We have no body tension, no allergies. We are happy, and proud of everything that we are. We are kind, and playful. Life is awesome! Outside of survival our biggest need is to be loved and accepted. For that reason our goal is to please. We have a powerful inner drive that will not only boost us through learning to talk and walk, all by ourselves, it will take us right through life, adapting as needed.

Then it happens! We encounter discipline. We are expected to become obedient. That’s a problem for any life. Life isn’t build to live that way. It’s built to survive through inner drive.

We are all unique, and we are all the best that nature can create. We can only be one thing, and that was established at conception.

To be obedient, we have to defy that unique drive that is pushing us from inside. We have to choose which path. Do we remain true to our unique selves, and defy authority? Or do we obey authority, and live with the fear and pain that happens when we defy our own inner drive?

Authority is a man made invention. It doesn’t exist in nature. When we see creatures in nature do as expected, it’s not obedience, it’s voluntary compliance. It’s cooperation, because they want to.

That’s nature’s normal.

Normally, our identity, expressing itself through our feelings, is directing and powering us to learn and manage life, right through all obstacles. That’s how nature works. That’s how we were intended to function.

The drive to survive comes from within.

The power of life always comes from inside. That’s what life is, and it’s the only way to remain healthy.

To try and change that, is to pick a fight with life and nature itself. Would it be a surprise that there would be some consequences? Would world wide conflict be about right?

When other people expect, and then demand obedience, they stop the process of our power coming from inside!

It’s obviously impossible to do both!

This hurts. It’s life or death hurt. It’s beyond being something we can live with. It’s life changing. We cry, and we scream, and then we change. Once that happens, we have changed civilization. We have invented conflict.

We cannot do both of the things demanded of us. Our identity and feelings are telling us to learn and survive through our own efforts. Obedience is instructing us to abandon our own drive, and do what we are told.

We have to find a way out of this much hurt. We have no control over the demands of others. All we can do is reduce the pressure coming from within ourselves.

So we disconnect from our own feelings. Now we don’t feel the hurt. The side effects are bad though. They include sickness, discomfort, the absence of morals, lack of empathy, and lots and lots of conflict!

Our identity cannot reach us in this condition because it can only talk to us through feelings, which are supposed to be there. Disconnected from our feelings, we don’t know who we are, or what we need, or want. It’s like being in prison. The magic and the thrill is gone.

This a fearful existence. We become defensive. We left truth behind when we disconnected. We only accept “safe” truth now. Without our identity, we can be led to believe anything at all. Authority directs us so often, in so many conflicting ways, we lose personal confidence. We feel inadequate. Everybody does now. That’s why we can’t enjoy others any more. Everybody is trying to build up their own importance, because it’s gone within them. People begin to be ashamed of many of our own qualities, because our power and confidence is gone. That used to come naturally when we were able to be who we really were.

We are the best that nature can create, and here we are, ashamed of many thing about ourselves.

Why else would we ever feel the need to hide anything at all about ourselves? People hide most of what is most important. We all do it. That is just so sad! We have a right to be proud of everything that we are. We were the best we could ever be, at birth. We should all have felt proud throughout our lives. We are supposed to feel like lions. Lions don’t hide!

We have become the only life that feels a need to hide some of it’s own real qualities. We did it to ourselves!

Disconnecting from our feelings stopped the hurt. Is it obvious that none of this should ever happen? Is it obvious that the consequences are in proper balance with that act of doing something that serious?

Once that process is complete, we will probably never recover. People seldom do.

Well then, how does this help us to make our little corner of the world conflict free?

To Be Conflict Free

There are steps we can take, without having to change the world.

Obedience has to go. It doesn’t exist in the natural world and it shouldn’t exist in ours. It’s a mistake mankind made through a gradual slide away from the natural rights of all life. It has cost us everything most important. Imagination, and fun come to mind.

Contrary to popular belief, removing obedience will not make our world worse. It will start to get better.

People forced to be obedient are always going to cause more trouble than they ever would have. I expect everybody secretly knows that.

Insisting on obedience is looking at others through that lens of our own expectations, instead of working with the life that’s actually right there in front of us.

Our attitude requires change. We need to at least recognize, and hopefully support the unique qualities and path of every other life.

We need to see other life in the same way that the rest of nature does.

Our own expectations are our own worst enemy. They exist only in our own heads, and they shouldn’t be allowed to remain there!

We need to see other life, including our own young, as a mystery to us. The power, the drive, and the uniqueness all coming from within them, as nature intended. When we begin to negotiate rather than command, life begins to have meaning again.

Suddenly we become conflict free, and loved to death.

To do that makes us hurt though. Can you see why? To be obedient, we had to see things the way we have been told. We became corrected every time we saw anything differently. This created a comfort zone. A very narrow zone. Everything else hurts. Now obviously there is something seriously wrong with that picture! How healthy is any life that has a narrow point of view, and anything outside of that hurts? That’s what we made though with our need for obedience!

Who wants to hurt? Therefore we have to try and control everything that irritates us. What a trap. We all scurry around finding solutions to our hurt.

Letting Go.

Even letting go of our personal need for others to be obedient doesn’t make everything right, just yet. Stopping the damage doesn’t repair it. Except for the very young, we all still suffer from selective acceptance of truth. If ideas don’t match what we have been taught, we hurt, so we believe only what feels good. We still struggle with our own obedience, and doing as we have been told, rather than respecting the identity that is the real us.

The real us will always be a far better person than we could ever manage through doing what we’re told.

The more we can return to the real us, the happier we become, and the more special we once again return to. Also it becomes safer to accept real truth.

Counseling helps us to accept truth, which includes frightening amounts of early hurt, still buried in our feelings.

Recovery is difficult.

Imagine the obstacles. Stepping outside of the teachings that have happened to us, hurts. It really hurts. It’s frightening. Our beliefs, even without that mountain of inner power we lost, still bring us some comfort. To step away from that and take on life without any support whatsoever, is a life threatening leap of faith.

That’s why people can’t afford to see truth. That’s why we don’t see the effects of demanding obedience. That’s what “hurt blind” is.

Our real identity knows truth. That’s all it accepts. It never stops trying to guide us. Connecting with that brings us more comfort, confidence, and power than we could ever imagine. But to connect with that, we have to abandon everything that we believe, and leap into a vacuum, over and over again, with each little bit of progress. How hard is that?

To say it’s worth it ten times over is a ridiculous understatement. What’s it worth to get our real original selves back?

If we can make through all fear and hurt, things are back to what they should be. We once again feel alive, full of passion and imagination.

Should we decide not to recover because the job is just too big, the honorable thing to do is to help stop any further damage.

What happened to mankind?

There are important questions.

Why did mankind slip down this hill? Why doesn’t other life?

We understand that damaged people want obedience. This is being hurt past the point of living in the natural way.

We understand this process in humans happened gradually, slowly getting worse, one generation at a time.

We are beginning to understand how to fix it.

But, will it happen again!

What started it? Why did it happen?

This blog is clarity-of-innocence.com There are many posts, all looking at the same issue.

Thank you for allowing me to be part of your day!

Norm Cormier.