Clarity of Innocence

What do we need from the world? What do we need from each other?

What happens when we don’t get what we need?

As it turns out, we need an environment that allows our spirit and vitality full expression. That’s not only comfortable for us, but it’s absolutely imperative for our health.

We need the world’s approval, to be us!

I doubt that’s a surprise to anybody.

People are hurting! Why?

What exactly is it that we are missing?

What is wrong? What makes us feel right, used to make us feel right, but seems to be gone now?

Freedom is gone!

The right to express all of ourselves, and live through our own drive and feelings, is no longer available to us.

The right to exist as ourselves, sounds important. Obviously, it must be.

All other life on the planet does get to have this right.

For humans, that right has eroded away. It’s all gone!

We are born into this world with a natural right to express everything that we are. Fully connected with our feelings, we are no threat to others, or our environment. Nature has made sure of that, over time. We are each the finest that nature could develop.

What! If that were true, then where does all this fighting come from?

Do people have a dark side?

Well they don’t!

They are all fun loving, cooperative and playful. Damage them though, and everything changes.

People are only destructive after they have suffered enough hurt to damage connection with their feelings. After that, there is no limit to the possible destruction!

We all need to be, and to fully express, “who we are”.

Right now we are confined to only the qualities that others allow.

The amount of ourselves allowed to be expressed has been reduced so much over time, that everything most important is now censored. The further we go down this road, the more conflict we create throughout the entire population.

This is becoming demonstrated quite clearly in these times.

And here it is. We are each the best of the best. We overcame incredible odds just to be born. Nature has selected our abilities through generations of trial and error.

We simply cannot be what others wish. Our identity was locked in at conception. All we can do is hide any qualities others may not approve of.

We are who we are, and we can only ever be that one thing.

To hold back any of ourselves, hurts. Our identity talks to us through our feelings. When our identity gets ignored, or is not allowed expression in any way, it increase the pressure on us. That makes our feelings hurt.

The long and the short of it, we are who we are, it’s awesome in every way, and trying to withhold any part of that hurts so bad, we crash.

A social environment, where people don’t lie to us is essential. In addition, we need to not be controlled, but of course, that’s just another way to say, freedom.

We need recognition, from the world, that we own our own lives.

We need the recognition that we are independently wise, responsible, and capable of managing our own lives, in a non-destructive manner.

Is there anybody who regards this as unreasonable?

Considering our planet, and the life on it, is this an unrealistic expectation?

Everybody else already has their own life, and should they wish to waste it trying to control everybody else, it seems to me they should expect to be pushed back into managing their own world, and allowing others to do the same.

Cooperation of course is a whole different story. Undamaged people cooperate to a far greater degree than a controlled person ever would. That really should be enough to satisfy other people.

Is it becoming obvious that peoples need for control is not coming from anybody’s real needs? It comes from a damaged person’s need to feel better!

The freedom to fully express our entire identity is what we need. Can you imagine anyone finding a way to argue against that? Would they also find a reason to control all other life on the planet as well?

This respect is also the most vital gift we can ever give.

It’s the greatest gift, ever given. It’s not supposed to be a gift though. It’s a natural right.

Want to instantly cut the conflict in your life by half? Want to feel loved?

Give others those rights!

Before we go any further, it needs to be made clear that undamaged people, recognize, respect, and live by these needs automatically, as their default condition.

This entire blog is dedicated to demonstrating this fact. The trouble begins only when we restrict the behavior of our young so much, they need to disconnect from their own feelings, to minimize their hurt.

Life simply will not tolerate having any expression restricted. If it’s not expressed, then it’s waiting inside causing stress. In short, we hurt!

Once disconnected, and with compromised feelings, people can be cruel, and never know it. They simply can’t feel it.

Those causing conflict and trouble are always damaged people.

It’s become critical.

Our world is in a death spiral.

It began when we unintentionally caused people to hurt. In this world, it happens when they are tiny. Being small at the time then, their only escape is to partially disconnect from their feelings, simply to survive that hurt. Being disconnected like that, they are damaged. They can’t feel. As a result there will be behavioral changes.

Our response is to use direct force, to drive their behavior into acceptable limits. Acceptable to us, anyway.

Well, that’s what we did to cause the hurt that damaged our young. One step at a time, as we continue, we pour more and more hurt into the world’s population.

Everything we do, in attempting to fix things this way, makes things worse.

There is a reason why we don’t catch on to what we are causing. It’s because, being somewhat disconnected, our ability to observe and understand is compromised. To see these things clearly, hurts us!

Getting back to normal is so easy, it’s almost comical. We don’t have to build a better framework. It’s already there, and always has been!

We only have to stop pouring hurt into the system. We really need to stop causing damage!

The people of the world are all hurting, to varying degrees!

Hurting, and partially disconnected from our feelings!

Forcing people to behave as we wish, causes them to live in negative feedback, from their environment. That, right away, makes it impossible to remain healthy.

Their environment in this case, being us!

First they find themselves hurting. Next, after disassiociating from their feelings, they find themselves doing mean and insensitive things, and getting relentlessly corrected for it.

Given only what they can see, they are forced to conclude they are inadequate, and need proper guidance.

Guess how they are going to act, and how they are going to feel, while believing that!

Using escalating control, in attempts to make things safer, has put mankind well on it’s way to destroying all life on the planet!

We certainly need less damaged people, making the decisions!

The problem with doing that, is that undamaged people immediately recognize that direct force usually, if not always, makes things worse. But, in a world where an increasing number of people already have damaged feelings, the most common world-wide consensus is that we need more control.

That’s why our world keeps getting worse!

A person wise enough to make things better, through improving the inner world of each person, is unpopular. They come across as naive, to those demanding action.

We elect “action” people instead, who make more rules, and thus discourage the vitality of more people.

Is it clear that societies with the most rules and limitations over their populations, also have the most violence, expressed or repressed, within the population?

For those who can see it, that stress is right there, in their faces.

Mankind has found a way to bring out a quality in people, that shouldn’t even exist!

It’s kind of cool that repairing a troubled and hurting population, amounts to reducing control, rather than increasing it.

This feels more and more like some kind of a test! Do we have the wisdom, to do the opposite of what seems obvious?

The environment that we feel, sets limits on our self-esteem, trust, goals, passion, and priorities. At the moment, we all know how repressive these limits are.

The emotional health of every group is set by these limits!

Nature’s default environment is perfect. Support in every way possible, and the freedom to survive or falter, all powered only through that life’s own energy, and efforts.

Each life owns itself.

It’s unfortunate, that this turns out to be so crucial!

Why unfortunate?

Because there might not be anyplace left on the planet, where a human can enjoy a really healthy environment, healthy for people that is.

This post has got to be the most important in the series. It is also the only one that suggests any discouragement, at all.

The other posts have explored how the driving force of all life must come from inside, how important it is to allow that to happen, and how every conflict disappears, when we do it.

That’s all absolutely true.

Let’s break down the damage somewhat.

There seem to be specific areas where our environment impacts our self-esteem and tranquility the most . We are all born into a man-made world, and that presents it’s own issues. Every life has a need, and a natural right, to power its own existence through its own identity, and not only be allowed, but respected for it.

There are degrees of damage to the connection of feelings, for every life, where that isn’t allowed to happen.

There is our need to express our own identity, just as we really are, and the damage to our feelings, that occurs when we have to be something else, simply because we are told to be.

Everything stated in this blog can be verified through observation, application, or both. It’s on display, all around us.

We can see the results of respecting the inner drive of other life, or the results of controlling it.

Mankind, of course, demonstrates only the results of controlling other life. Not many of us do the respect side of things! Not outside of therapy, anyway. We hope to fix that!

We didn’t start out with any need to control anybody, or anything!

That need grew in step with how much damage we have already done, in our response to damage that was done to us.

People who hurt, want control. It destroys any happiness they might have enjoyed, but they simply can’t pull back, and live with their own hurt. It just feels better to control others.

It’s ironic because with the control they insist on, any value still left in their own lives goes away. They choose to believe others trust them, but there is no way that’s possible. Using force on others, trust is gone immediately.

The world has suffered many murderous dictators. Do any of them look happy? That’s one end result of “more control”.

Is there anyplace left, where we allow a child to own their own life?

We seem to assume that all life has been provided for us to manage, any way we wish.

Just like some convicts, we want to believe we are not responsible whatsoever, for any of the obvious chaos. We are determined that we aren’t doing anything wrong.

Well, we are! We did it all by ourselves! We need to accept that, get over it, respect other life, and then get on with enjoying a better world!

The moment we stop feeding hurt into the system, everything changes. Our systems are all based on the hurt that people are feeling.

With that gone, all behavior changes. The justice system becomes mostly redundant, real fast. Overpopulation seems to happen in step with despair. Those problems diminish, then vanish, as things improve. The school system is based on force. That should change, to include respect, rather than force. A person without hurt, pursues their interests, and that will skyrocket, when the hurting ends. There are no lazy people. These are people in pain and despair, who simply give up, and rebel. That won’t happen anymore either.

Step by step, we reverse our progress into conflict and chaos!

Aside from conflict, danger, loneliness, and the need to conceal everything real about ourselves, we have also created the most boring environment possible, all while still in this amazing universe.

That’s what control does. It destroys the inner world of every life. That’s because using our own inner world, to live through, is not allowed!

Our own self has been banned from us! Does that sound like a good thing?

Feelings are the imagination and the magic. Living without these, without cooperation, and without full expression of ourselves, is a self-created prison, for us all.

Life is a gift. It’s our gift. It’s ours! Each life has a natural right to be itself! It’s not there for some self-proclaimed ruler to take away from us.

Are people thriving?

To be fair with assessing the results, money shouldn’t be the measure. Wealthy people can still be unhappy.

Faces tell the story.

The goal has to be feeling good, and really enjoying life.

I expect most of us are going to be surprised how much our dependence on other people, for our own well being, is absolute.

Environments range from natural, exciting, and healthy, where all people own their own lives, and efforts, to many various degrees of control and misery, and without the natural rights we are all supposed to have.

There is absolutely no way some self appointed guardian, should ever have more importance over our lives, than we get ourselves.

We only believe they should, after a lot of manipulation has happened to us. We have all been the victim of so much manipulation, the basic and obvious realities of life are no longer clear and present.

People ignore their own instincts.

Has anybody ever seen one of our leaders having better moral values than we already do?

Undamaged people, meaning people allowed to own their own lives, always have kind and cooperative values. It goes downhill from there, in step with the amount of “being controlled” damage.

We can turn anybody into a monster with enough damage to their feelings.

That’s not their fault!

If we are going to take over another life, then it becomes our obligation, and our responsibility to know what we are doing!

Believing we do, and then saying it louder and louder, over and over again, doesn’t make us qualified.

We need to actually understand their needs. Telling others we do understand, over and over again, till they get tired and give up, still doesn’t count.

When we can take care of a person, and they still look like the picture below, then perhaps we can begin to be taken seriously.

Other people play, by far, the biggest role in the success of our lives.

It starts with the world we are born into. People have set most of that up.

We need a place to burst into action, while feeling accepted and valued for all that we are. Outside of physical needs, this is basically what life needs, to flourish and feel important.

Living in this artificial, and highly controlled environment that we have created, do we get to feel important?

Not likely! Not ever.

Well, what do we get? We get convinced that everything most important and special about ourselves, is inadequate. We get that message 24/7, from the moment we get woken up with an annoying alarm clock, go out on the roads, then obediently go to work on someone else’s timetable.

Even our pets don’t have to live under that degree of control!

Nobody gets importance from this environment. Not even the rich and powerful. If everybody around them suddenly broke out in absolute honesty, then they would find out how much everybody loves their actions. In fairness, there are some that do have value, of course.

We all get told to be something else. Many adults are proud of it!

Feeling accepted, welcome, and respected, just as we really are, feels incredibly good to any of us. More importantly, it’s what we need, to remain undamaged!

How often does that happen?

In this world, just about never!

Therapy, and support, those are the only times we get to feel fully accepted in this life.

Approval of our entire selves, needs to be all the time!

Criticism of our nature, and the direct force we suffer, intended to change us, hurts. Not just an inconvenient hurt at all, no, its “life and death” hurt. Our identity is in peril. It hurts like death is threatening! It is threatening.

Our identity is us!

We don’t really change anyway. Nobody can. We just pretend for a while. All we can do is hide those qualities that some others object to. That’s all a roll of the dice. Every different person, is going to object to different behaviors that they don’t like from us. We could never, ever hide them all. That’s our entire world now. Everybody hiding! Some of us rebel. Some of us die.

In reality, every one of us can only be the one thing that we already are.

All we can do is hide those qualities that others don’t like, and then go to therapy later, to try to get connection with our feelings back.

If we succeed, those qualities return. This time we get to be proud of them. The very same behaviors.

Those feelings all hurt when we dig them back out, and live them, because they hurt when we left them behind. Guilt, fear, and shame all emerge when we bring them to the light of day. That’s what we were feeling at the time!

Must we all, one by one, go through this useless waste of the only life we might ever get?

Our actual identity hurts. The negative feedback from the hurt, causes us to create our civilization, just the way it is.

Our civilization is one of hurt. It’s a quest for malicious beauty.

Our real identity wants the same encouragement for all of our qualities, that all other life enjoys, through nature!

We want our lives back!

In this world, we become accepted only when we follow other peoples rules, and defy our own identity.

Our identity was never destructive. Not until it found itself at war.

Can it work any other way?

Yes, and it used to!

For all of the rest of nature, it still does. People are at their very best in their natural condition. Yes, it works without forcing rules on each other.

It works way better. People will voluntarily cooperate to an insane degree, when they feel completely accepted.

This world just has no idea!

The reason for rules, is not because it works. The reason is, because it allows people, who feel hurt, to feel better!

In this world, from the age of one or two years old, and on, absolutely none of us ever get to feel completely accepted. Only our convenient qualities get accepted!

Cause and effect is happening!

The cause is, none of us ever get to feel accepted in our natural condition.

The resulting effect, is a troubled and dangerous world where everybody hides their feelings, lives a lonely life, and all the while, feels mostly inadequate.

If the quality of our lives could be called a “10”, we have brought that quality to less than a “1”. We do it by censoring everybody’s identities, all to various degrees.

Ironically, we took all the fun out of life in the process. The thrill is mostly gone. The joy went away. The comfort of spilling everything to a sympathetic soul is becoming more difficult, as the demands on everybody, ramps up.

If, for even just one minute, we could feel as we did at the start, or for that matter feel the way humans are supposed to, there would be a mutiny!

There is no way we would settle for this imposter of a life, if we could just once again feel like we should still be feeling!

For example!

Is this person happy?

It’s not just a picture, it’s a relationship. A relationship is what we are really seeing part of, here in this picture!

Subjective or not, happiness is obvious! So is unhappiness. Just take a good look at people’s faces out on the street! Do you think we might be in trouble?

Hopefully, everyone will agree, the picture shows a happy person!

Which takes us right to where you already knew we were heading.

HUMAN NEEDS

We are all familiar with the needs of nourishment and shelter. These are clear. There is one more essential need though.

The other posts have thoroughly discussed how every life can only be the one thing it already is, and needs to be respected, and appreciated for exactly that.

Nature does that well. Mankind doesn’t do it at all!

What happens then, when we find ourselves in an environment, where there is no way we are ever going to be allowed to express enough of our real qualities?

What happens to us? Are we simply unhappy and discouraged, or do we become damaged?

Is it possible to have a life the way it should be, if our environment isn’t right?

The answer, of course, is no. Our feelings are going to hurt. People are amazingly sensitive to others around them, and to their environment.

Coming from this world, and hurting as will be the case, are we still capable of creating a healthy environment for our own offspring, should that time come?

We all want to do that, of course! Bad news though! It simply isn’t possible, not if we are damaged. Without our feelings to guide us, our chances of providing what is really needed, at the right time, are about as good as driving somewhere without being able to see through the window.

A fast summary!

Each life is unique and can only be itself. Denied any expression, no matter how small, it will hurt. Too much hurt, and feelings must be disconnected from awareness just to continue life. Once this happens, all bets are off. In this condition, people stop being nice, and become destructive, and competitive. All the wishes and theories in the world will not stop this natural progression. With excessive hurt, it will happen every time.

This blog is clarity-of-innocence.com There are many related posts. Some explore the path to reversing the process of having hurt inside. A sneak preview? Own those feelings that hurt. Live them, accept them, let them back into our lives. They might hurt, make us afraid, feel guilty and simmer with shame. We own them and share them, and after a while we become, once again, proud of them. Each step is difficult. As more hidden feelings reenter our daily lives, our faces, in the mirror, begin to look more attractive to us. Our handwriting looks better to us. We get our lives back! We live out loud, just like we were always supposed to!

Thank you for allowing me to visit with you, this day.

Good luck on your journey,

Norm Cormier