Most, if not all of us, are angry.
We are usually ashamed of it.
Compared to how life should feel, we are anxious, struggling, and demoralized.
Many of us have been angry for so long, that we have forgotten we still are.
We know we feel anxious. We know we live without joy, and that we don’t expect much good from others.
As it happens though, all our anger is perfectly fair!
It is right and it is justified!
If we are angry, we have a perfect right to be.
We have a right to own it, and to wear it with pride.
Unknown to us though, our anger is invariably directed at the wrong people.
Wasting it on the wrong people is just going to keep it going forever without resolution.
It also places hostility in everybody, everywhere.
What, then, is going on with us?
OUR INNER LIVES
Most of us can’t feel our strength, our feelings, our needs, or our instincts.
We could when we started life!
We still should! All other life can.
The loss of living through our own power is a massive hurt!
That’s a good reason for all the anger any of us live with.
But, there is no single person to focus on and be angry at!
Humanity’s beliefs are wrong now, and we are hurting our young.
Every one of us gets traumatically hurt now, in our very early years.
LIFE COMES FROM WITHIN!
Just like all other life, we need to be nurtured in our early years.
We need approval and support. We need encouragement.
Our power comes from within us, and it needs to be nurtured!
Our efforts need to be respected and encouraged.
Just like all other life!
If we had got that, we wouldn’t be angry!
We would still feel powerful and capable!
AS PARENTS WE NO LONGER PROVIDE SUPPORT!
Every child grows up angry to various degrees!
They also grow up feeling guilty because they can’t bear to be angry at the parents they love!
Of course, as we understand now, it’s not the parent’s fault. They did as they were directed.
Mankind has been doing this for centuries now.
We have made ourselves warlike.
That isn’t who people really are at all. People are the most loving creatures on the planet.
We desperately need each other, and we need approval.
WHAT THEN, CAN WE DO FOR OURSELVES?
The answers lie within us.
Before we get to the actions we need to take, a quick overview.
Life comes from within. We all started life with strength, awareness, and no inhibitions.
Unfortunately, we have lost our inner connections when forced to obey. That’s why we can’t feel them now.
Life was never meant to work that way. Our drive, power, and needs are supposed to be satisfied through our instincts, needs, and feelings. We are all supposed to be self-driven.
We should still feel all these inner drives and wisdom.
Few of us can.
Mankind is wrong right now about how to support other life.
Most people believe more discipline causes better behavior.
People just won’t let go of that belief. That’s why love and trust happen less as we go along, instead of more.
This confusion is due to our absolute control during infancy.
Once we have done that, obedience is necessary, because now it is.
Well, it’s not necessary!
We need to never start at all.
With support and encouragement, right from the beginning, children can’t do enough for us. Conflict doesn’t exist. Mankind is the most loving creature on the planet.
But it all comes from within!
To get pure joy and wonder back into our lives, we need to reconnect with our inner instincts, needs, and feelings!
That’s what people in therapy try to do.
It doesn’t need to happen through therapy.
But, a supportive environment is essential.
When we reconnect with our inner lives, we discover for ourselves how much we need the support and approval of others.
Well, we can’t reconnect without already having that.
Everything we wish for now, we began our lives with. All we need is to get it back.
Our environment has to come first. It must be supportive and loving.
We will need to behave that way as well, to deserve the support that we need.
In the right environment, healing will begin by itself.
TAKING ACTION
I would expect jealousy to be the first issue. As we progress, it will lessen, disappearing completely at some point.
In the meantime though, it is probably the biggest threat. It could cause our behavior to work against our own progress.
Remember, we are trying to establish a safe and supportive environment.
There will be many strong feelings, all threatening to cause our behavior to destroy any goodwill we have built up.
We have a few helpful tools. Understanding that we are one of many in the same condition should help somewhat. Being aware that any negative behavior we have has never been our fault should also help.
Our job will be to behave well. Then work our way to an increasingly more supportive environment.
The chains must be removed. From both ourselves and everybody else.
Every other person has a right to behave in any way they wish, and we were never meant to have any control over others.
Everybody’s life comes from within. Only then do we get those good qualities of love, trust, and support.
Of course, choosing supportive people is important for our recovery. Ironically, it always has been.
Whatever situation we find ourselves in now, will be due to those choices we have made in the past.
Removing all the chains and demands brings us back to the same social condition we lived in as an infant.
The truth is, we have never had any control anyway. Just a lot of conflict, and fooling ourselves.
A change in attitude such as this is going to generate a lot of very painful feelings within us.
That’s our hurt!
We need to own these feelings. We have a perfect right to them.
These are what we will be dealing with.
Expressing these and sharing them will gradually make us better.
Blaming others and hating them will make us worse.
Nobody did this to us intentionally.
We became grievously wounded. That’s all. We need to recover.
From the moment we put away all the chains, we will begin becoming more likable. That will keep getting better.
By the time we’re done, we will be unable to remember how we could ever have been jealous.
The quality of our relationships will move toward trust and joy.
Being unable to control other people means we need to be able to find other people who don’t control others either.
They have wonderful realtionships, and we will too if we can stick to our path.
Our goal is to feel our own power. Our needs, feelings, and instincts as well.
Our hate and anger have made our recovery impossible.
Accepting that we have been critically hurt and that nobody did that intentionally, puts us in a condition where recovery can become possible.
We can share our hurt though, without jeopardizing our recovery.
That’s what we need to do.
It will eventually dissolve the feelings that block our communication with our own inner lives.
I hope this is understandable. I hope those who wish to can make it back to full connection with their inner lives and abilities.
I think they will.
Recognizing and reaching out is already a big start.
Thank’s for listening,
Good luck on your journey.
This post is part of https://clarity of innecence.com
Take care,
Norm Cormier
I welcome considering other thoughts.