How good do you feel?
How good should we feel? What’s possible? What’s normal?
We have created a civilization where people are not free to satisfy their own needs!
The consequences?
HURT!
Massive, world-wide hurt. Enough hurt that we each hide who we are. Sufficient hurt that we disconnect from our own feelings, simply because we cannot live, not while feeling this bad!
Now, why would it hurt so much, to simply not have something?
Because it’s our natural rights that we don’t have! The right to live from our own identity!
In our early years, in this world, we each have to overcome, and defy our own identity, simply to remain unpunished, and to feel like we belong!
That would hurt all right, wouldn’t it!
It doesn’t go away either. We hurt all day, every day.
In most cases, the hurt is too much to live with. Death is one option, which does happen, and another is to disconnect from the pain.
We disconnect from our own feelings. That has side effects, and those have made this a troubled world.
One thing that happens is we lose touch with our identity. It used to speak to us by causing feelings, which we can’t feel anymore.
Another thing, we live with continuous fear. Fear exists as a warning to cause us to retreat, and move on to safer territory. When we hurt, and work at not feeling it, it becomes impossible to understand what the fear means. The connection isn’t there. It’s not long before we are afraid all the time, and don’t know why.
Another thing is being unable to understand our own needs. We need connection with our feelings for that!
A world full of damaged people!
That’s our world!
Living in this way, we are no longer trusting, playful, and loving. We are confused, determined, competitive, and self centered.
Does that feel like our world?
There are undamaged people, also trying to live in this chaos!
They still live through their heart and their feelings.
Any person who tries to live through truth and honesty, stands alone, usually as an outcast. They are a babe in the woods.
Unfortunately, they present a danger to those attempting, through deception, to achieve their own ends.
People deceive themselves out of hurt, and consequently, but unintentionally, deceive others as well.
They cannot afford to have truth come out. They are heavily invested in what they have chosen to believe. They are stuck this way, by the lies.
If only they were easier to recognize!
Those who try to live through reality and truth will be repeatedly attacked.
They are a threat. They will be attacked, until they can find their way into a safe group of people.
But that’s usually impossible. Being attacked from all sides, how can any honest and true person have the strength to believe in themselves? They usually live in self-doubt, like a big pile of mush!
People even try to win love through manipulation. Good grief, could the irony get any worse?
We all hurt. We have feeling disconnection. What happens next? When a damaged person uses dishonesty to achieve their ends, every honest person is a threat to them. Who gets burnt? The only person who won’t stoop to dishonesty.
The one who won’t lie!
There really is no defense against a lie. Everything goes underground. Nobody, not even honest and healthy people, share what everybody is thinking. The lie stays concealed.
THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN TRUTH AND HONESTY, AND SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.
We all remember feeling complete, in our beginning. We long for that purity, honesty, and completeness back. It always remains possible, although difficult.
All other lives live free, and “out loud”.
It’s only people who hurt each other, and cause this world-wide damage!
Children are always honest! They will remain that way, unless hurt to the point of damage!
The change, when it happens, is obvious! They become intentionally uncooperative. The purity of their appearance fades. The hurt shows, for those who can see it!
Mankind has developed it’s ways, taking over from nature. Children go through early hurt, enough to cause them to have to disconnect from their own feelings. Everything about life has to come from inside. That’s what life is. Thoughts, feelings, wishes, play, love, trust, goals, frustration, and respect all come get expressed from within. All life has to get to do that. Children are denied that. They are forced to be obedient. That means defying everything that they are, and becoming obedient. The job of their identity is to power all of that. It is who we are. It is not going to quit. It will fight back, to the death. Normal existence, through their own energy, has become impossible for our children! Of course that hurts!
Married people step outside the relationship to get what they really need, and then suffer the resultant penalties for being unfaithful. Children try to live outside the boxes we create for them, and get punished for it. Most stay safe and do nothing, but feel robbed of real life.
Our right to exist as ourselves, has been cancelled!
If we consider natural life to feel like 10 out of 10, we have turned it into a 1 or a 2 for each other, by putting each other in behavioral boxes, that do nothing for anybody’s needs or wishes!
We each have a right to our own natural life!
How can we measure how good life is for us?
We don’t understand much about our internal lives.
We all quietly keep trying to improve it. We know some live in desperation, and some enjoy themselves. We can’t measure this, and we don’t react to it, until something bad happens.
People try hard to understand absolutely everything! Why then, do we have this huge blind spot, in what have got to be the most important qualities in life?
Hurt is happening. We are unintentionally spreading hurt throughout our population. We aren’t seeing it, and we can’t measure it, but it has changed the condition of each of us. It hasn’t done the environment much good either!
Each of us has a completely unique, and different existence from each other, and from natural ways as well.
Our lives vary from abject misery, including suicide, to a wonderful lifetime of feeling loved, without ever a worry. Almost all live somewhat in misery. Even the rich and powerful are doing no better. Do any of them look like they bask in the warm glow of feeling loved?
How then, do we arrange to get one of those “feeling loved” existences?
What’s the difference? What sets it all up?
How about this person?
Wouldn’t we all just love to still be feeling like this?
This our natural default condition. It’s not supposed to go away!
Feelings are a difficult topic. They are usually a secret!
To make this any better, most of us will have to learn a different language. The language of feelings!
Feelings are the best part of life. We all started out, living entirely in this world.
That’s the magic we remember, the imagination, the passion, the thrill of life, believing we were loved, this was all so very special!
Then, excessive hurt happened to us.
Now we live in a “love verses fear” world!
Hurt has changed everything, for all of us!
When hurt happens to people, there is only so much we can live with, and still survive!
Beyond that, we have to do something. We can defy the pressure others put on us to conform, live through our own identity, accepting the endless punishment, or else we can allow ourselves to accept becoming obedient, and then find a way to limit how much we hurt, by disconnecting from our own feelings.
At the moment we get some of each from each new person.
With enough hurt, what do we do? Do we challenge authority and be ourselves, or do we disconnect from the feelings that hurt so much.
Where do you fit in?
Most, if not all of us, have suffered such an excess of hurt, the entire subject feels somewhat threatening.
As an adult, we can leave.
As an infant, we really have only one option! We disconnect from our own feelings, to various degrees. Defying authority only works until we reach exhaustion.
Every life has an innate need to be ourselves. Our identity is locked in at conception, and we can only ever be that one thing that we are. Everything that we are, comes from inside, from that identity, reaching us through the best form of communication ever created, our feelings.
Throughout all of nature, every identity gets support and encouragement. Each identity has developed instincts, through numerous generations, to be as good at survival as it can possibly be!
Do you think it hurts to ignore our entire identity, and become obedient, instead of following our heart, and our instinctive skills?
Mankind has forgotten that it’s necessary to allow our identity any room at all, to exist, and to power the learning of this new environment, that we were born into.
We have to grasp, that it hurts beyond anybody’s ability to tolerate the pain!
The irony? People are the most loving, nurturing, caring, and trusting creatures on the planet. Every single one, is a true gift. Our natural behavior is trust and cooperation.
I expect there is a reason why this happened. Probably, with increasing population, this is nature’s way of making sure no race of creatures gets out of hand.
Whatever the reason, we still need to understand our hurt, and the hurt of others!
This blog is clarity-of-innocence.com There are many posts, and they all explore feelings, and the quality of our inner life.
This post is in the process of being created. Please be patient, and even more importantly, please come back!
Thank you for allowing me into your life!
Norm Cormier
I welcome considering other thoughts.