Why rush about chasing things we think we want, when most of the time they don’t make us any happier than we already are.
Better to figure out what we need first!
All life starts out strong. We will have to understand what happened to the self-respect and confidence that we started out with, before we can best design a recovery.
All life has needs. If we can match our own needs, we have the most chance of pleasing ourselves with our efforts.
Why can’t we feel our needs anymore?
For that matter, why can’t we feel our feelings, the condition of our bodies, or our instincts?
This brings us to the dividing point. It’s natural to be strong, fully connected, and complete. What happened to us?
Can we pretend for just a moment that we are an outsider looking into this world. How should the young be best supported to tackle life?
Well, the energy comes from inside every new life.
The drive is always there. Walking and talking are enormous tasks to learn but infants do it with ease.
After that, what works best? Will they do better being advised and told what to do, or will they do better learning everything by themselves while being encouraged and supported in their efforts?
Humans have chosen poorly!
All life has its own unique identity. It uses all the possible resources to survive. That’s its job. It will keep trying to do that at all costs, and under all circumstances! It has instincts, senses, awareness, intelligence, and abilities we aren’t even fully aware of to accomplish this.
Identity will never give up! To it, that’s death.
To be repeatedly blocked in it’s efforts to learn causes it pain!
It needs to be carefully nurtured.
If not, it hurts! When people hurt they try to escape it. The only escape is to retreat from the hurt. What happens is our conscious disconnects from the hurt. In the process it also disconnects from feelings, identity, awareness, and just about everything trusting and exciting about life.
Many of us wind up in therapy looking for more self-esteem. The rest of us struggle with it, to various degrees.
Regardless of how we feel about these thoughts, the fact remains that we need to protect the identity of our young.
It should never happen that someone leaves our nest and then goes out looking for therapy!
Life drives itself. We have to accept that and partner with it. Once that happens, control feels unnatural. We enter an entirely different world!
That brings us to how we can change for the better.
Self-esteem is necessary. Trust is necessary before love is even possible. Others will give far more voluntarily than they ever will on demand!
Do you see where this takes us?
Allow everybody else their own self-driven identity, and our own life changes dramatically!
Now here is a world full of enjoyment and companionship.
Which provides peace and better goals, but we still hurt!
A good environment really helps progress here. Others need to be able to accept your real identity, whatever emerges.
The trick of recovery involves acceptance. Every hurt we pushed away needs back in. It hurts to do any of this.
Its worth it!
It works. Inner strength slowly gathers. Therapy speeds the process!
It is massively more difficult to bring someone back from low self-esteem that it is to push them there.
Humans really need to stop doing that! A few cherished beliefs have to go! They are what brought us here!
Re-integration brings back our original strength and feeling good!
Hope this makes sense to you.
Good luck on your journey.
Take care,
Norm
I welcome considering other thoughts.