When we get angry, it’s because we’re hurting!
We don’t have to apologize for being angry.
We needn’t ever feel bad for having wrong feelings.
Our feelings are the bottom line. They’re the most honest and accurate things in our lives.
They are the one thing we can count on. They are always pure! They can be trusted, absolutely.
They’re our lifeline to feeling fully alive.
It is important though, that our perception of a feeling matches the cause of it.
We can easily make wrong guesses about the reasons for our feelings.
If we get that wrong we are stuck.
We live the same feelings over and over.
Because we misunderstand, our behavior can cause the wrong feelings!
Blame the wrong thing, and nothing ever gets better.
We get angry over things that haven’t hurt us.
We fix or avoid the wrong things!
Meanwhile, we keep getting hurt.
Perhaps we become angry over everything. Maybe we feel sad all the time.
WE ALL BEGAN LIFE UNDERSTANDING OUR FEELINGS
We should still be this aware!
Why then, did it become possible to be confused about our feelings?
WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO US?
Life is supposed to be driven from within.
Everything good about humanity comes from deep inside.
People are loving creatures.
But, for each of us to remain healthy, others must allow our lives to be powered from within!
THIS IS CRITICAL!
What happens when others try to power our lives from their rules instead?
We become confused about our own feelings.
HOW SERIOUS IS THAT?
If we can’t live from our own energy we suffer actual damage.
This is probably true for all life.
To obey others, we must first defeat our own inner drive!
AWARENESS!
Once we do that, we lose communication between our thoughts and our feelings.
When that happens, our feelings no longer make sense to us!
We have forgeten our first and most basic language! Our feelings.
We can no longer correctly identify exactly what gives us pleasure.
We may be aware we are pleased. But we no longer recognize what caused it.
We have become capable of blaming the weather, or perhaps some color.
The same thing happens to all of our feelings.
For example, our need may be the comfort and support of others. We can be unaware of that.
We can easily set out to overpower and cheat other people.
Then, they don’t like us! Then we hurt! Then we get angry!
We can be working against our own happiness and not know it!
The harder we try, the worse we feel!
OUR TROUBLED AND CHAOTIC WORLD
When our thoughts are unaware of our feelings, we behave poorly!
We have lost the guidance of our instincts and our own needs.
We hurt ourselves repeatedly.
We can’t do any better because we can’t feel our own needs.
Our world is steadily getting more hostile!
As the number of people who can’t connect with their own feelings increases, so does inappropriate behavior!
Our world is now filled with people whose behavior is working against their own joy.
We have caused that ourselves!
WHAT COULD CAUSE THIS DISCONNECTION?
We did it by not allowing our children’s lives to be powered from their own energy and instincts!
That can do it!
Life is designed to be powered from within. Every life has been created to find its own way.
Respecting and encouraging that puts them at their very best! Their most capable and loving condition.
There is no danger in allowing children to power their own lives. It’s all good.
But not allowing it can drive our entire civilization into horrible feelings!
Full connection with our needs and instincts provides infinitely more wisdom than the human race can ever give us.
HOW CAN WE LIVE WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING OUR FEELINGS?
For most of us, continuing on as we have been, makes no sense.
Most of the time we are working against our own happiness!
If we succeed, we will have less joy than we have now!
WHAT DO WE WANT THEN?
I can say one thing for sure!
Our greatest joy comes from the support and approval of others.
Humans are loving and playfull.
We all need permission to be fully alive though!
Moving in a supportive direction reduces anxiety and makes us feel good.
It doesn’t matter what we believe! We will feel better anyway!
To do that though means pleasing others, not bossing them around.
Most of us will need to actually feel it though, before we are ready to accept that truth!
To really please ourselves, we need clear recognition of our own feelings.
Recognizing the true reason for any joy, hurt, or anger, that we have is critical!
HOW?
We can begin by finding others willing to support and comfort us.
Then, pay attention to how we feel with that support.
If we have begun to feel more comfortable and expressive, then we know it’s the proper direction for us.
It will be!
Next, we begin changing our own behavior to better fit into a world such as that.
Leaving the assumptions of our present world, and relearning how to live in kind and gentle ways, is a long trip.
But, it’s relearning how to make ourselves happy!
Our feelings will be better!
We can’t feel the right direction anymore to achieve this.
But, we need a way to know!
Our present world believes in direct force.
All together though, our feelings are steadily getting more anxious and painful.
If support and encouragement make us feel better, then that’s where we should go!
The end of that path is where we all belong!
It’s the way back to holding hands in song.
In a really good environmennt our internal connections will begin to improve all by themselves!
With luck, we will recover our ability to know what behavior results in us feeling better!
Thanks for listening.
Good luck on your own journey,
This post is part of https://clarity-of-innocence.com
Take care,
Norm Cormier
I welcome considering other thoughts.