Clarity of Innocence

Why would all of us have to self-improve?

We don’t see other creatures doing that!

Well, people have a special problem.

We all start life, overloaded with massive hurt! I will leave the explanation for later. First let’s look at the way things are.

We shouldn’t hurt, but we do. Nowhere else in nature does this happen.

Everybody hurts. Everybody has issues. Those in therapy invariably work their way to childhood trauma.

Why? What happened?

The world is just not the way we usually see it.

Every adult is crippled with early hurt.

A normal human, without hurt, feels good, is playful, cooperative, fun loving, and wishes to be loved above all else in life. That’s who we all really are. That’s what’s left, if we take away the hurt.

That’s who we should be. Feeling that way, and also being without hurt, would be better than winning the lottery, in terms of real pleasure.

The hurt causes us all numerous problems. They reduce the quality of our lives. Not many people are going to do “the right thing” while hurting to the degree that people do.

We like to think of our society as many individuals, all anxious and ready to act poorly, unless we have rules and enforcement.

That’s not the situation at all.

People only act poorly when they are hurting!

What we really have, is many cooperative people, all hurting, and damaged to the point where some are ready to do some awful things. The punishment (hurt) is actually causing the crimes.

Respecting the needs of our young avoids all of the behavior generated by our pain, which comes out of despair.

We already talked about hiding everything important. How much difference does that make in our lives?

Do our lives really suffer, because of our hurt?

Instead of declaring everything that we are, right out loud, we hide most of it. Because we do that, most of what would have happened, never does.

Instead of seeing others as comfort and playmates, like we did at first, we see most of them as threats.

Our health suffers when we live with excessive hurt. Immune system disease is everywhere.

What do we do with our lives? That changes. Our confidence is shattered with these quantities of hurt. Teenage defiance is not a natural thing at all. It’s a result of excessive hurt. Even conflict is a consequence. War, greed, hate, and assaults, are all consequences of excessive hurt in the system!

Our lives suck!

Removing the hurt, turns it all around.

By now, I expect you are wanting to know where this hurt comes from.

We have needs.

One that stays with us for life, is to feel loved. That’s why people who aren’t hurting are so great. How do we act when we only want to be loved? We act gently, and with love.

One need, that is especially important in our beginning years, is the need to live through our own identity. Our identity has the wisdom and instincts of mankind’s entire existence. It is wise beyond our understanding. Our identity directs our actions through our feelings.

And here it is. Mankind does not allow any of it’s young to live through their own identity. They are expected to obey, and to do as they are told.

This is the source of the hurt! People are not allowed to own our own lives.

What does our identity do with demands from others to obey? There are no other lives on our planet that do that. No other creatures in nature have built-in hurt, to try and get through life with.

Our identity hurts. It is us, and it isn’t allowed to be us. I guess it’s supposed to go away, but it never will. It will never give up trying to be us! That’s it’s job.

It is better at it than we could ever be, unless we start listening to our own instincts.

It hurts so bad we have to disconnect from our own feelings. That helps, of course. It also brings up new problems.

Now we don’t know who we are, or what we really want! We can no longer feel these things.

That’s the shape we find ourselves in, as we read these words.

Understanding this, does self-improvement sound like a good idea?

It’s a job we should never have to do, of course. Adults throw hurt into every human on the planet, for no good reason, other than we simply don’t understand the consequences of what we are doing.

It’s certainly not fair that every person should enter life, with the immediate necessity of fixing themselves.

But that’s the situation. What will we do about it? Hide from our hurt? Challenge it, and get our lives back? Some of us might not have enough strength left to fight our way back.

Once in hurt, there is really only one way out. Step by step, we go back the same way that took us here.

We need to own each and every one of our feelings. We accept the whole lot. It will hurt, because it already did.

We felt inadequate for not being what others wanted! We still feel that way, but it’s locked away.

We felt guilt for not being better. That’s still there, inside our feelings!

We felt lonely, we felt shame for being inadequate, and embarrassed, for not being perfect in the eyes of others. That’s all still inside us.

Owning these, feeling them, and sharing them, all work together to integrate our feelings back into our life.

We slowly regain our feelings of pure power, and delight in being alive. It happens.

Once we regain some of this, it sinks in, how much we have lost. We were not living at all. We were in the waiting room. Once out, we are never going to allow ourselves to go back. We aren’t helpless any more!

Good luck on your journey. Thanks for having me along.

This blog is clarity-of-innocence.com There are many relevant posts in the blog.

Norm.