To feel that we might be a failure suggests that we are not meeting some goals we have set.
At the same time, it seems that we have doubts.
As infants we all lived from our identities. There was no pass or fail. We just kept expanding the limits of what we could do. We lived in the moment.
Which method do you like better?
Mankind has suffered a setback that we pass on to our young. We don’t bring them up from our instincts as we should, but instead we make them behave. That puts them in the position of having to defy their identity to avoid punishment. The only way to do that is to escape from that powerful drive.
That means people can’t live their identity. No other life does this.
Without identity we have lost instincts, feelings, our natural sense of what behavior is ok and what isn’t, and our sense of self. That’s why we think we have to bring our young up this way.
We can still feel what we used to be though. We want it back.
We set out to be important. It can’t work, and we sort of know that, but it’s all we have.
There is a better way to proceed. Trying to be important has no chance of working, because we have no sense of what we need or want. Without that, how could it work? We will be accomplishing someone else’s dream.
What works better is any effort to regain that original identity.
We do that by opening ourselves up and accepting everything around us, good or bad, comfortable, or not. We accept and feel it all. What we are really doing is re-integrating our own feelings and experiences. It’s do-it-yourself therapy.
It steadily provides us with increased access to our real wishes, from our real identity. That alone is worth more than all the wealth on the planet.
As we progress down this road we become steadily more likable. That’s because we are becoming ourselves.
The actions we take become more attuned to our real wishes. We can even begin to sense what our bodies crave. Now that’s real success.
Good luck on your journey.
Norm
I welcome considering other thoughts.