Clarity of Innocence

“Living out loud” makes us happy!

In today’s world though, we just don’t get to do that!

Why?

We are driven, working endlessly to make others behave as we think they should.

When we do that, it prevents us from healing naturally from our own hurt.

We use our hurt in a way that eases it, but the energy is misapplied.

As long as we do that, we cannot face our own feelings, which is what’s necessary if we are to integrate them and return ourselves to our original emotional health.

It puts a stop to any possible emotional healing for us!

Our own hurt prevents us from “living out loud”. Making others behave, prevents our own healing!

None of us are created to live from direction. It hurts us! Our identity lives in trauma when that happens.

We once had to fragment our emotional cohesiveness, to survive. That’s our discomfort.

All life is self driven. We weren’t allowed that natural right. It caused enough hurt, we had to find a way to avoid our own feelings.

We all fought back, long ago! We all lost. Then we became one of them!

Being controlled, we don’t get to be our true identity.

We hid who we really were, because others made us ashamed of it.

When we have tried to live as our real selves, we got reprimanded, and forced to comply with the wishes of others.

Now we don’t get to “live out loud”!

This is all wrong.

We are all at our happiest, most loving, and cooperative, as our real selves.

We get mean when we can’t be our true and complete identity. Our feelings can no longer reach us, to provide natural guidance!

With all of us like this, that’s what is happening to our world!

Unbelievably, that’s all that has gone wrong to cause each of us to hurt as much as we all do, and to cause all of this conflict and violence.

This world has happened! It’s the consequence!

No other life does that to each other!

What’s the worst thing we could ever do to our own happiness?

Try to make others behave in ways that we insist on!

It’s a trap for us, and it makes us tired, and miserable. It also keeps us emotionally unconnected.

I know that sounds the wrong way around. It’s true though!

Why?

Can we try it the other way?

Let’s turn off our aggressiveness!

Let’s back off.

Just for now, can we allow everybody else to be whatever, and whoever they want to be?

Let’s surrender all attempts at making others behave!

Can we just assume they are at their best when behaving from their own instincts and identity, like all other life does?

Can we forget right and wrong for the moment? Can we forget our fear that we might be causing others to be irresponsible?

Can we just try it?

It’s a whole different world, isn’t it!

I will describe what normally happens!

First, most of our stress disappears.

The weight of the world has been removed from our shoulders.

We can be friends now. Our shroud of responsibility, that was never meant to exist, has been lifted!

The only stress we have left is the pressure of the demands of others, and of course our original hurt. We will have that, until we accept our bad feelings as part of ourselves, fair or not.

Then we are back to the way we started out.

We feel more powerful as well!

Also more confident!

The exact opposite of what we would have expected!

We were in a box. Now we’re not!

That was how to get out!

Life isn’t worse. Surprisingly, it’s amazingly better!

Every limit to our own behavior has strangely been removed!

Controlling the behavior of others takes work. It becomes our whole lives. It’s an obsession, and a burden, and it’s caused by our own past hurts.

It’s not wrong that we fell into this trap. Everybody does!

Controlling others never works though! They either defy us, or wait to defy us.

It’s a job with no reward. Surprisingly, it does no good anyway, only damage.

Why? Because all life is self-driven! That’s the condition where it’s most trusting, loving, and most responsible!

Accept that, and your life turns into trust, then love!

All those bad feelings and the resultant conflict is suddenly and magically gone.

Our lives are supposed to be naturally run by our instincts and identity! Opposing that only creates conflict and bad behavior.

When we accept the self-drive of others, they begin to trust us. They begin to like us. There is no limit to that.

Anything else?

Yes, when they feel accepted as their real selves, others begin to behave better! They also treat us better! They become likeable, to us, and to themselves.

This is all true. Don’t believe? All you have to do is try it out!

Why would all this happen?

To accomplish anything in life, we take action, based on what we believe the situation to be.

What if the situation isn’t the way we think?

Then our plan won’t work! The consequence?

This lonely and violent world!

With our lives, in this world, the situation is definitely not what we think!

That’s why all this trouble!

The way we see other people is wrong. Therefore our attempts at change don’t work.

Where do we see the situation wrong?

We make only the one mistake! We think we can guide other life!

But, we shouldn’t! All life is self driven!

Unfortunately for us, it has to be, to remain healthy!

We try to drive it anyway!

This is a critical issue!

People’s permission to live from their own self-drive is the difference between utopia, and Armageddon!

If life is self-driven, and we drive it anyway, What do you suppose happens?

It sounds like an accident waiting to happen, doesn’t it?

Just look around! This world is what happens!

The reason? We have introduced conflict. There are two conflicting masters, both trying to control the same life.

Our life’s own identity is a perfect team. Instincts, awareness of it’s own body and needs, awareness of the environment, and other awareness that keeps showing up, but we don’t know much about, all work together for our success.

We need to be allowed to live this way. We need to be nurtured, not bossed. All other life on the planet gets nurtured.

To nurture is to support what’s already there, not to try and change it!

It’s tragic when we don’t get the nurturing we need! It causes us all to hurt, and we all know where that takes civilization.

Fully intact, our identity is the product of natural selection, and produces the kindest, most cooperative and creative person possible.

What if we try to control that life anyway?

We start out with a plan! Our understanding though, is flawed.

We don’t allow identity. We overrule it, and we do that with punishment. No mater how big the fight gets, we win.

The conflict flares, then settles in for a lifetime. The real boss, the identity of that life, generates so much hurt, the life itself finds it necessary to disconnect from intense feelings.

That life will remain in trauma, and that goes right back to the cradle!

And so, here we all are!

It’s even worse being the victim, than being the controller!

The moral?

It’s when we stop guiding others in ways we choose, that others begin to cooperate with us. We eventually receive trust, then love!

If we stop our controlling, we ourselves unexpectedly become more accepting, powerful, and confident.

If we stop our controlling, others become better, natural people. They remain connected with their feelings, and therefore respect the environment.

It need to be recognized though that when control is removed, people don’t instantly behave as well as those who have never been hurt. That needs time.

It just doesn’t change instantly. It does begin a gradual improvement though. It’s slow because their identity is still in trauma. Recovery will take a while, if possible at all.

Those who have never been hurt, will behave beyond our wildest imagination! Boy, do they feel good! They have the inner power to be independent, strong, fair, playful, and compassionate people.

That’s where our natural identity invariably takes us, if it doesn’t get traumatized first!

The last word? Others are self-driven. They do not need our guidance. It only damages them! They are not us!

Their identity and sense of right and wrong was established at conception. Our interference only causes trouble!

We need to back off and enjoy the ride. When we can do that, we get to enjoy the love!

Good luck on your own journey. Thanks for listening.

This post is part of clarity-of-innocence.com

Take care,

Norm