Like it or nor, we are all plugged into the human condition!
We do indeed crave appreciation, validation, and approval. That’s what it is to be human.
Trying to avoid that, is the doorway to loneliness!
When life isn’t working, the problem is coming from others, usually far in the past.
In this world it is necessary to be lucky enough to be surrounded by people who not only approve and accept us, they also have to be people who are willing to accept the “real” us!
This is where the difficulty usually lies. The real us! Most of us no longer know what that even is!
Our world doesn’t nurture any more. We don’t get support in thriving as our real selves.
We get support only for being what others want us to be!
As we behave as others have insisted on, approval and acceptance have no power. It falls on deaf ears, because it doesn’t match our real nature. All the approval in the world is not enough, because it’s for someone who isn’t us!
Our only way back to strength is to become our real selves, as we always should have been.
Then we have to find our way into a crowd of accepting people. From then on, we don’t mind our need for validation. We revel in it. It feels good, like life is supposed to feel. It connects us all, like life is supposed to be.
Finding our way back to being our real selves is difficult. There are many bad feelings in the way. That’s because we felt bad as we stopped being our real selves. The goal has to be accepting these feelings as part of us. They are part of us. These things happened and we can’t make them unhappen.
As we accept our own pain, the bad feelings drop away and become only memories.
Now we feel acceptance when it’s there. We feel better and better with progress.
As for self-esteem, it ceases to be relevant. We feel strong and we feel good. we love everybody, just the way we started out!
This is the direction that works. Running away from hurting feelings makes them grow. That’s because we collect more as we avoid situations.
Good luck on your journey,
Take care,
Norm
I welcome considering other thoughts.