Clarity of Innocence

Yes, of course, it’s possible.

When this happens to us, the thing that has changed is our own expectations!

It’s a trust thing!

We have altered our perception. We have come to expect different treatment from others. We don’t trust them anymore.

To find our way back to how we used to be, it will take more than just learning to trust again though.

We must also undo any changes we made within ourselves because of the defending we had to do.

Fear and isolation!

We all live in these feelings now to varying degrees. It’s a tragic waste of life.

Nature nurtures. People don’t anymore.

If we still did, we would still feel as strong and powerful as we did as an infant. Yes, we did feel strong then.

Have a good look at an infant. They’re not afraid of anything except for what their instincts tell them to be wary of.

Our social environment is that important!

Our social environment

It places us where we are in life!

If we had nurture, which is support of our own identity, our self-esteem would still be off the charts!

In this condition, with our instincts fully operational, we would see a narcissist for what they are easily. Lacking a need for their flattery, we would not be vulnerable.

Our goal is to be proud of our own identity and feel comfortable expressing it, while at the same time thoroughly expecting full acceptance from others.

This is how we began life. This is the normal condition for all life.

Life comes from within.

This is important!

It’s the basic rule of healthy life!

Relearn how to support and allow other life to be itself, and absolutely everything gets better!

It’s the end of conflict! It’s the return of trust!

The message we get from just about everywhere now though, is to control other life!

What has this got to do with narcissists?

A whole lot!

Control

Controlling others generates narcissism.

People who believe in control are causing all the world’s trouble! Just look around!

Control is a “knee-jerk” reaction. It leads to conflict, low self-esteem, and loss of identity along with loss of instincts.

Every problem is better solved by dealing with the source. People allowed to live their own identities are always cooperative to fair and reasonable requests.

People allowed to live from their own identities are always good people! The instincts they can still feel are where human morals come from!

Our instincts!

Instincts are the combined wisdom of the entire human race from the very beginning. We need a connection with that wisdom!

Our needs tell us we crave the love of others. Our instincts help us be responsible and kind. This pays off in love!

If we can accept the natural right of other life to live their own fixed identity, allow it, and live it, instead of trying to control others, just about every problem we deal with these days goes magically away!

Conflict has been created by us, through trying to control that which needs no control!

What does all this have to do with recovering from the damage done by a narcisist?

Recovery is trust!

Trust can only exist in a healthy environment!

Nobody is going to invite anybody into their healthy environment unless they are also behaving in a healthy way!

When we can honestly expect to be allowed that natural right (to live from within) from others, and at the same time are willing to grant that same right to other people, our own inner strength can begin its return.

The biggest obstacle to our recovery may well be our own resistance to allowing others their freedom.

Once subservient, it’s difficult for anybody to imagine life as it is meant to be, and as it works best for everyone.

We get stuck in beliefs that keep us in conflict!

Supporting life in its drive to come from within will be difficult in our present environment.

Humans have grown to expect obedience. It’s our paradigm these days.

Our identities have no place to exist in the presence of obedience though. They aren’t allowed. Without our identities, we also live without our instincts. Our instincts are the sum total of human experience from the very beginning.

To be the best person possible, to feel good, to feel powerful, and to be resourceful and confident, we want full connection with our inner life!

Too many of us know all too well how bad it feels to be so helpless we can’t stand up for ourselves.

The more people we have in our immediate environment who have rules and expectations for us that don’t match who we are, the more difficult it is going to be to recover our strength.

If we are one of those people as well, our recovery is impossible.

Our social environment is really important.

For those of us who lost our inner strength, that’s what happened. Our environment was unhealthy. That’s how important our environment is.

A therapeutic environment is a good place for recovery. It allows, respects, and encourages our real nature.

Otherwise, we need to learn to see who other people really are, so we can avoid those who would cause us to abandon our instincts to please them.

There are still many of us around who welcome the genuine nature of other people.

Even one of these people in our social circle makes a huge difference in our lives. It allows our world to make sense.

When granting others the right to be their own identity, it is particularly important to do so with the very young. At the moment humanity doesn’t allow this. Our young do not get to live their own identity.

That’s the reason people are so troubled and lacking morals these days. Without our instincts, we lose our sense of right and wrong. We forget how much we need others, and we behave with wild abandon.

Taking care of ourselves comes down to socializing only with others who permit and value our real nature. To do that, it is up to us to also be that kind of person as well.

Otherwise, it remains in their best interests to avoid us.

They have to! They need to protect their own world.

This is the path to feeling strong again.

Living in this way is astonishingly different from normal life today.

This will undo any damage a narcissist has caused.

This way also returns us to the strength and infinite confidence that we enjoyed as an infant, given time. Joy is always in the background.

Thanks for listening.

Good luck on your journey.

This post is part of https://clarity-of-innocence.com You will probably need this address to return.

Take care,

Norm Cormier