Clarity of Innocence

People aren’t really hostile, angry, and insecure!

They are actually gentle, loving, and very much aware of their responsibilities!

We are all born this way! That’s who people really are!

But, as parents, we don’t allow our kids to stay that way!

Instead of kind and gentle, helping, and loving children, most of us cause them to become angry, resentful, and hostile!

We do most of that in infancy!

Children

They each have a fixed identity.

Ideally, they get to live it!

Only they know who that is, what they will be interested in, or what they need!

Life comes from inside!

The drive to survive comes from within. The need to learn comes from inside.

Awareness of the needs of an infant comes from within. They are different for each child and always changing!

The power to manage all this comes from inside!

Every infant comes with enough inner strength to cope with life and enjoy the process!

Life is designed for the infant to manage all this!

All life works this way.

Life finds its own path!

What the infant needs is support while developing their abilities, and a little protection until they grow stronger!

Our Upbringing

Most of us, if not all, never got to lead our own lives.

We had no control over how much freedom we got. Our identity seldom developed our learning.

Once we could understand words, our independence was over.

The vast majority of us became obedient, instead of living our identities!

It wasn’t voluntary. We fought to exhaustion, and eventually surrendered.

As we surrendered, we lost the power of our identity!

That was our self-esteem!

Not only does life come from inside, but it also has to!

This is the difference between a child who loves, and an angry child!

Respect for the independent life of another is critical.

We really need to learn that, or we must all live in conflict, as we do now.

That’s the only way life gets to stay strong and healthy.

Most of us didn’t get to remain strong and healthy.

That alone is responsible for all the trouble and fighting in our world.

That’s the one quality that makes people cruel and evil!

Now we feel overwhelmed, and very sad.

What do we do?

Is it possible to live in this world full of control and hate, and still have a normal life?

The act of giving up our inner power, and “living from our identity” has changed us!

We are now accustomed to living from the direction of others.

The direction of others has no wisdom. It’s motivated by attempts for someone to be important!

Our identity along with our instincts, have the wisdom of all time!

Living from inside, we are all responsible, loving and playful!

Living from the direction of others has brought out the worst in everybody, and we are doubling down on this mistake!

We were too little to sort any of this out. Now, having lived in a controlling world, we believe in it!

Hopefully, we understand, as adults, that this control over others doesn’t work!

It takes us into conflict and war! It removes the thrill of a wonderful life, turning it into drudgery.

It puts us into competition with others instead of trusting them!

This is no way to live! It’s too many wasted lives!

When we surrendered our right to live from our own identity, we also lost connection with much of our inner world such as our instincts and awareness of our own needs.

When we can’t feel our own needs, we forget how important others are to us. Consequently, we also lose the one thing that used to make us morally responsible, as well as safe and happy.

Awareness of our need for others normally allows us to trust each other, and really love them.

What can we do now, to enjoy real life?

We can change our ideas to match the way our identities would have us approach life!

Our identities had the advantage of instincts and connection with our own needs!

Our identity always knows what we need, and what makes us happy!

It just can’t tell us anymore.

When we do as our identity would have us do, we still become happy!

It works even when we can’t feel the message.

Living from our identity brings us our best possible life.

It always knows our condition, even though we can’t feel it!

Living in a world where nobody can feel their own feelings has resulted in us believing many destructive ideas!

This world is full of them!

We can follow a different path though.

We can still make ourselves as happy as we can be, even without a good connection to our identity!

What Path?

The one thing most critical to our own happiness is the trust of other people!

Another, is the full expression of everything that we really are!

Surprisingly, money is far down the list. It sounds right though! Do the rich look happy? How about those in love?

See what I mean?

How do we gain the trust of others?

Your probably not going to like the only answer possible! It works though!

We get trust, and we get happier.

We can make life the way it would be, if we still had a full connection to our own inner world!

How? We don’t ever demand anything!

We don’t even ask!

We accept what others are willing to give!

What’s that, we say!

Give up our rights?

Well, yes, sort of.

Controlling others was never our right.

It just isn’t a right.

It never was, and it never should be!

It’s an expectation that causes all the conflict everywhere!

That alone is responsible for all the world’s pain!

This expectation alone, is all that’s wrong!

It’s what we come to believe when we don’t get to live our own identities!

Ironically, it also causes others to stop all cooperation!

Our own demands cause a complete lack of cooperation with us!

When we can feel our needs, we are content with who people are, and we choose our friends!

Just watch what happens when we give up all control of others!

First, the conflict ends!

Disagreement has become almost impossible!

Second, others will give far more voluntarily, than they ever would have given under expectations!

There will be others we still can’t get along with, even when we stop demanding things!

Well, the truth is, we couldn’t anyway.

That fact was just harder to see as we went along demanding what we wanted and fighting over it.

Yes, we have to choose people willing to give us what we need. We always did anyway! We were just a whole lot slower seeing that.

Giving up demanding behaviors from others doesn’t cost us a thing.

We immediately get a whole lot more cooperation when we stop demanding what we want!

But, look what we gained!

We gained trust!

I know, it seems to have little meaning when we can’t feel our own identities.

But, just wait for the results!

We get happy!

Life feels better!

Life suddenly has a purpose!

Our identities knew this all along. It just couldn’t tell us.

Sometimes when we feel despair, it’s our identity hurting!

Now, what about full expression?

We also need that to enter real life!

The life we should never have had to abandon!

Are we holding back?

Of course, we are. In many, many ways!

Why?

These reasons all come from the outside world that believes in control and doesn’t accept identities as having any value!

The reasons might be great for robots, but not for living creatures!

There is no real reason ever, to hold back. That works against our own happiness in every way possible!

The more we let go, and allow our real selves to burst out of the box we have put ourselves in, the nicer, and the happier we get.

That is, of course, also the world of children! Do you miss it?

Living out loud is one of our easiest changes. It only requires courage, and willingness to feel hurt.

There will be others who don’t like it! That doesn’t matter.

We gain inner power so fast as we relearn to live out loud, that the complaints of others have no impact!

Who dislikes the behavior of infants? Now that’s living out loud! It’s pure joy! It shouldn’t have been left behind!

Our identities would never have encouraged us to tone our lives down, concealing ourselves, ever!

No other living thing does this.

What about secrets? Do we have any? Why?

Same answer!

With every secret we expose to the scrutiny of others, the happier we get!

This is what therapy does!

It’s all well and good for us to change ourselves to get our joy back. Is this a responsible thing to do?

If we all do it, what happens to the world?

Fortunately, it’s all good. The world gets a rest! People become nice. Communities become supportive, kind and gentle.

Real life is non-destructive. It’s the controlling of life that causes all the greed and damage!

Living real life!

For that we need reconnection with our identities.

Anybody who has let go of demanding others behave as we choose, and has worked on expanding their expression, has already removed most, if not all of the social barriers to reconnection.

All that remains still preventing spontaneous reconnection with our identities and consequently our needs and feelings, is hurt and fear.

As we reveal our secrets, we will also be experiencing, feeling, and bleeding this inner trauma away.

While the process seems to go on forever, it doesn’t. There is an end.

As we go through misery accomplishing these things, we steadily regain the power we were born with!

We just keep getting stronger and stronger.

More likable too! The more we live our own identity, the more others like us!

That’s because we’re presenting real life, not an image we want others to accept.

Once we regain any connection at all with our identity, it becomes impossible to bring up kids in any way but the natural one.

Their inner power gets supported and encouraged all the way, as they gain abilities through their own strength!

It’s the difference between loving community life, and conflict and war!

Thanks for listening.

This is part of https://clarity-of-innocence.com The web address may be necessary to return here, as links change a lot.

Good luck on your own journey.

Take care,

Norm Cormier