There is only one situation where we begin to question if people like us.
It’s only when we have broken normal connection with our feelings, that we begin to doubt our popularity. Before that, we take it for granted, as we should.
If we ever get full connection back, the fear of not being popular, no longer exists.
Babies and infants don’t question their popularity. They are too busy living their lives.
All of nature is the same. Natural life lives out loud!
It’s only people who hide their inner life. That happens because of excessive hurt.
Life hurts when it’s not allowed to be itself. People all have hurt, and this is why.
If we allow our young to be their real identity, without us trying to change them into something else, they will not hurt.
When children are respected this way, the question of being liked, never comes up.
In other words, if we get respect and support for living as we really are, we never feel the need to question whether others like us.
None of us can change anyway. Our identity was always fixed. All we can do is hide those parts that we think others don’t like.
Once we go down that path though, we spend the rest of our lives feeling inadequate, shameful, and guilty for not being what others wanted. This hurts so much, children disconnect from their feelings, because of the pain. That disconnection also removes the connection to our own identity.
This has happened to all of us, in varying degrees. We have lost full or partial connection to our feelings, and consequently to our identity.
Getting that back is the best present we could ever give ourselves.
There is a lot of hurt in the way of getting that back, but it’s do-able.
Owning, living, and sharing all of our feelings, thoughts, and wishes is the direction to go if we are to accomplish that. The fear, shame, guilt, and feelings of inadequacy, that we will immediately face, are temporary. They are there because that’s what we were feeling when we disconnected from our feelings.
It is the most damaged of us causing all the trouble in our world.
Anybody without hurt is cooperative, happy, fun, and playful. That’s the normal condition for people.
Mankind has to learn that children already have an identity, it is absolute and cannot be modified, and when we try, we cause the world’s conflict and chaos.
Another way to say exactly the same thing with fewer words, “Respect for life”.
Good luck on your journey. Thank you for letting me be a part of it.
Norm
I welcome considering other thoughts.