Clarity of Innocence

Do we want to feel loved? Do we want to just naturally love those around us?

It’s the dominant condition, throughout our infancy.

Then what happens?

In our early childhood, we all suffer hurt. Hurt on a scale, that no life can tolerate, and still remain healthy.

This shouldn’t happen. Normally it wouldn’t. If it’s at all possible to stop hurting our young, we really should.

Hurt changes them. Then they grow up, and change our civilization, to match.

Of course, we have to stop causing that hurt. Hopefully, ending all unnecessary hurt, is a common goal.

As it turns out, we are causing this hurt through a misconception, that we all now share.

All new life shares common needs.

Protection is necessary, until it can manage survival, and support too, in it’s own plan of attack to master every skill it is ever going to need.

That is what humans need as well.

Humans though, have to try and survive without that help! What our young get instead, damages us, one by one.

All life is self driven. Humans too!

What happens if a self driven life becomes “driven by others”?

Is this a giant step away from nature’s ways?

Children, in these times are no longer allowed to be self-driven!

How much trouble could that cause?

It has changed civilization. Children’s need to develop their own skills has been ignored for a long time now. This has gradually been getting worse, and the consequences are beyond serious now.

Being forced to ignore our own driving need to develop our own unique skills, really hurts.

It hurts too much to live with. Something has to break.

Something does break!

We will have a good look at the fallout. This is the whole story though. Taking away a new life’s ability to develop on it’s own, is enough to damage each person, one by one, and enough to cause unnecessary world-wide conflict.

Nowhere else in nature do lives become “driven by others”. All other life supports their offspring in each of their offspring’s own, unique and independent efforts.

The very moment we return to those natural ways, as well, all the trouble ends.

The overwhelming, and astonishing miracle that happens immediately, when we do that, is only cause and effect, but it staggers the imagination. All conflict simply vanishes, like some magic trick!

Conflict was never who people were, or are.

It was simply a consequence of the hurt people have unknowingly been causing, to the children!

That’s what this story is about. That, and the condition it leaves us, and the world in, and what, if anything, can be done to stop the hurt, and then fix the damage.

This early hurt has set up a special condition across the planet.

Most, if not all of us, have lost normal connection with our feelings, and consequently our identity.

After that, we feel damaged. We feel bad. We question our needs, wishes, goals, and who we really are.

We also can’t read other people, because if we can’t feel our own feelings, we can’t know theirs either.

After that we are different. Loss of connection within ourselves causes us to be unable to see connection within others, or see their hurt. We lose empathy everywhere, even with our own body.

That’s a lot of change, and all bad.

Wouldn’t we expect, if everybody is somewhat like this, the world would be unkind, and full of conflict.

Well, that certainly fits!

We get defensive because of that early hurt, and no longer speak truth loudly, or have the confidence to set things right.

Deprived of insight, we become oblivious to atrocities happening, even around us.

While healthy, we see it all. Once we disconnect from our feelings, even partially, we no longer see these things. The news continually surprises us with terrible things, happening around us. We can’t feel the difference, so we don’t see the cause of all this trouble!

It can be fixed. Not a partial fix. One move, and the whole world swings into trust and love.

It’s easy to test.

We have one by one, become emotionally blind, fixing one thing, and causing two more problems in the process! Relationships go bad, we hurt, and can’t sort out what is going wrong.

Let’s stop the hurt.

Everybody saw the picture of a happy infant at the opening of the blog? That’s how we should all still be feeling! Yes, it is possible!

Not only that, it’s the normal way!

We are accepting a quality of life that is rapidly becoming more, and more troubled. As this gets worse, we adapt. Our ability to adapt makes it difficult to remember a clear picture of which way our population is drifting, how serious it is, and what could be causing the gradual slide.

How do we fix something we cannot see?

We begin life with a lot of built in abilities and values. We have instincts. If human lives were developing the proper and normal way, we would all still be feeling the same as that infant in the picture.

We see infants as beautiful. Most of the time they aren’t. It only takes an hour or so, and we see every baby through a cloud of love, and absolute two way trust.

That’s where the beauty is coming from! Trust feels like beauty. Love happens only after that, and it feels really good, to say the least.

It’s also free!

But it’s only possible if we grant everybody else complete independence.

Seriously, what could be more fair. Nobody gets love, unless they deserve it, first!

Instincts are our “read only memory”. Our identity. The way we experience the world, the way we feel, and the way we approach our survival. If left alone to manage life through these, our relationships would be as nature intended. It’s a mixture of love, trust, survival, and enough energy to power a cruise ship, but only when we feel loved. Everybody feels good. Everybody looks happy.

This is our real self, and we can live wide open, withholding nothing, and completely guilt free.

I expect we all understand that we don’t get to be this way, not any more.

We are now all defensive, and somewhat isolated!

We hurt so much, our young adults are turning to drugs. This isn’t anybody’s fault. It’s cause and effect. Take away a child’s power, and they are going to crash, somehow. We get defiance, anger, resentment, hostility, and never ending efforts to overthrow our power over them.

What else are they going to do with their massive hurt?

We fight the drug trade. Meanwhile, we cause the need for it!

This life is not good for anybody, or anything. Feeling loved for most of our lifetime should always be our experience.

There shouldn’t be anybody preaching values that would destroy our relationships with each other. We should all see the danger at once, every time that happens.

We can stop causing this early hurt, support life in their own efforts, and enjoy full feelings in everybody new, from this point on.

That would repair everything in one or two generations. Unbelievably, conflict disappears!

But, that can’t happen, not with our present ways of thinking and living.

This needs a reboot.

To recover and survive, mankind has to live through real truth, hard or not. If we go on believing whatever is most comfortable, and whatever we decide we like most, we won’t survive.

Believing only what is comfortable takes us many places, all of them wrong.

We have to live truth. Having made that commitment, truth really does become obvious. Infants and kids live only truth. That’s what makes them so special.

Our civilization is telling us how to live, and it is wrong. Wrong enough to cause the end of mankind.

Wrong enough to cause our lives to feel so bad, we might as well be in prison. Wrong enough to cause all of us to hide our feelings, for our entire lifetime. Wrong enough to generate war, and the extermination of each other!

Are we really going to settle for this, where we feel this weak, helpless, and afraid?

This is not about the strongest people taking over our lives.

It’s about us handing our lives over to whoever is the loudest, because we don’t want to sort out what’s real, because it still hurts.

These counter productive habits really need changing, if not for our children’s lives, then for whatever is left of our own.

In our present half-hearted condition, we aren’t living. We may as well be watching a movie of our own lives, as we stay hidden!

The over control of our young has brought us into world-wide conflict. Unfortunate, and incorrect assumptions always will.

The first big truth?

We all have to trust that “who we are” is not only acceptable, we are each the best of the best, and have been, from the moment of conception.

Now this is actually true, but people don’t always believe it!

Why?

Nobody gets to see who we are!

Because we have been told to be something else, by well meaning people, who are unaware of the consequences of trying to improve on what is already far, far more perfect than anything mankind could create, at least not yet, and not in the foreseeable future.

We have to be aware that our impulses in our early years were never unacceptable at all.

They were simply us, in a very cooperative, and empathetic condition, learning our way, in our own natural manner.

This will probably be hard for many to imagine. This the whole pivot point though.

This is where it all goes wrong, hurts people, and causes misery, instead of allowing the absolute self-confidence we began life with.

The concept is easily tested. Treat any infant as though they know what they are doing, in their own unique development. Trust their own natural push into life, and suddenly the whole world opens up into a cooperative community. Try it!

This is natures way. It has selectively removed every quality from our race, that doesn’t help with survival. It has made each of us as perfect as can be managed, for survival in this environment.

It needs to be trusted. It is tried and true. It works.

It is just silly to imagine we can invent a better way, and get it right.

Our original identity is all we can ever successfully be. It is awesome. Every mother saw those qualities, although briefly.

Our lack of support for the original and real qualities of people has changed the nature of relationships. Instead of sorting out how to manage issues in the best possible way, we now do a different dance.

We all dance around attempts to protect our own importance.

That now determines every relationship, and the exchanges that happen within them.

Everybody does a dance around the expected feelings of their friends, compulsively avoiding anything that might make them feel bad about themselves, and all the while protecting their own image of themselves.

That’s our life today. Anybody who hasn’t figured that out is in, and out of conflict, over and over. Does any of this sound healthy?

There is one thing even more important than the recognition that our original identity, and chosen direction of new life is acceptable, and to be supported at all costs.

Every new life has to always be able to believe it is wonderful, just the way it is!

That fixes everything.

That’s what gets broken, in every child, one by one!

We all started out with an unlimited feeling of inner power.

Every other life on the planet gets to keep that feeling. That’s nature’s way.

How are we each doing? That’s all about one thing, and one thing only!

How do we feel about our real identity?

That establishes our social ability! It sets the limit for every success, that we might achieve! It sets our level of happiness! It cripples us, or else it doesn’t! It can cause suicide! It really does set every limit in our lives.

Viewed that way, is it important now?

Is the picture of what happens to us getting any clearer?

Is the condition of people, now that we can recognize some of our feelings have been blocked, beginning to form up in a way that makes sense?

We feel weak and helpless when we have been forced into obedience. With obedience comes the despair of never being encouraged, or even allowed to be our original selves.

Everything we are, tries to team up together to take us down our unique path of survival and functioning. If we feel ourselves being appreciated and supported in those efforts, then we always feel powerful, and consequently become a cooperative, compassionate, non destructive, and happy person.

When we are forced to abandon that, and become as we are directed, the person that we really are has been cast aside, in favor of us becoming a stranger. A stranger who does what they are told to, is troubled, and resentful, and usually doesn’t understand what happened!

This is why defiance is so universal.

It’s not normal at all though.

Could these pressures cause changes in our happiness, confidence, ability to feel powerful, and feelings of being loved? What do you think? Does a bear — well, you know!

It is critical that our good feelings about our real selves are always greater than our sexual drive?

When that’s no longer true, guess what happens? We read about these events in the paper or on the computer. We blame the person. We should be blaming the environment we put them in instead, because that’s what really causes these events.

Should we stop the damage, while there is still anything left to protect?

When we drop our demands, the children become cooperative. It works! It happens immediately. People can start working their way back to who they really are, and they can feel loved, while being themselves. There are no better people. Freedom does not release evil. It brings out our real natures. Undamaged people are fun, and loving.

It is just so easy to test, if we can allow that freedom.

Some of us may not be able to do that, and enjoy these results, because granting independence to others may be difficult, and sometimes impossible. When we hurt, some of us choose ideas that make us feel better. Then we cannot change those ideas, without getting our hurt back.

With these astonishing results though, why haven’t we just naturally, and gradually evolve back into a respectful upbringing, in the natural way?

It’s because, once hurt badly enough to partially disconnect from our feelings, we can no longer see hurt in others. We are hurt blind, and unaware that our lives have lost most of their value.

We can’t be aware of things we can’t see!

We know we no longer blend seamlessly into our group any more. We are aware that we have to work now, to even be accepted.

We don’t see the changes in other people’s feelings, because we can’t. We aren’t aware of our own changes either. If we could be as we started out, for just a second, we would be aware of every difference, but our viewpoint after losing contact with some of our feelings, isn’t as complete. We can’t see the whole picture from what is left to us.

These are hidden from us now, because our own feelings are! We can see a happy, strong, cooperative child, and then a selfish destructive one, and not see any difference in their temperament.

Living defensively, we simply don’t see people as they really are! We use direct force, the world over, demanding behavior that we choose, and then when it causes conflict, we try harder. All we see is the conflict.

Who is the obedience really for?

Who wanted it so badly that they were willing to do without all the goodness in the world?

We choose to believe it’s necessary, or our children won’t behave.

Right in front of our eyes though, the opposite happens, every single time.

Sure, we get them to do what we want, but we also watch everything important go away.

Why do we make such a cruel choice. Cruel for them, for us, and for the planet.

We do it because we hurt, and cannot see.

Children already want to please us, but not to the point of surrendering their own identity.

Unfortunately, surrendering their identity is exactly what we are insisting on!

People who hurt, want obedience from others!

They can’t feel their feelings anyway, because of the hurt, so no loss there.

It starts with one “ground zero” person who hurts, then demands obedience, just because they are grumpy.

Every single person in contact, and has obedience forced on them by that same person, also becomes a hurting person. Over time, the hurting people grow into a majority, and then obedience becomes the accepted normal. And here we are!

Is it obvious that it doesn’t work?

Why did this only happen to people? Could it be the population density has to be high enough? Perhaps it is only people, who take any interest in running the lives of others! This is something we had better get a handle on, if we ever want to completely escape the fallout from these demands.

Every one of us wakes up in the morning, and prepares to defend ourselves within our families, at work, and out in the world.

Where did that come from? That’s ridiculous. Why should we ever have to defend ourselves while among friends? When did that start?

Whatever happened to cause that, let’s get rid of it, and move back to everybody feeling loved. That’s all still doable, and throughout nature, it’s the normal condition.

Some may not agree that feeling loved is possible and normal, but that is probably about being so defensive, we simply cannot see love when it’s there, let alone enjoy having any.

At the moment, we all wake up in the morning so full of how we are going to make others behave, that to feel loved is an impossibility, because of our own cause and effect!

Tragic, ironic, and frightening that health and happiness can be so fragile, isn’t it!

When someone has expectations for us, our love for them is impossible.

Trouble with the kids? That’s what happened. Marital problems, that’s what happened. This karma is real, and has no mercy!

It is so very easy to make this mistake because everybody is doing the same dance. Looking closer however, some are far more determined than others to get their own way. The resulting relationship clearly shows the results.

For those of us unable to maintain a relationship, this is the critical mistake, and the one insight that can fix that reoccurring problem.

That’s just true. It’s a universal truth. We are all unique. We can only be one thing, and still remain real. When people insist on their own ways, over the wishes of others, trust dies, and everything good about the relationship, is over.

Expectations from others, that differ from our real nature, is disrespect, and an attack on our core identity. It demonstrates the lack of respect they have, for the only thing that we can be.

One by one, we lose love, in just this way!

If we are true to ourselves, our original character will always be something to be proud of. Any person, undamaged by hurt, is kind and cooperative by nature.

People damaged through excessive hurt are obedient all right, at their chosen times, but capable of causing damage and chaos at any moment. They have been “paid forward” with punishment. They have been punished with hurt, and they did nothing to deserve it. What behavior would you expect from a person such as this?

How well does pre-punishment work?

Mankind has to grasp that expecting our young to be as we choose, instead of who they really are, must not be condoned any more.

Not allowing them to be the only thing they can ever successfully be, is hurting them, and they experience it as punishment.

We tell each other how to live. It comes automatically to us now.

It has never worked, and it never will.

It simply destroys the good image a person has of themselves, and sets up never-ending conflict, which, along with everybody else behaving the same, spreads throughout the world.

What we are telling each other, has made love progressively more impossible, and has probably made long term human survival impossible, as well!

That doesn’t mean we can’t have our original loving environment back. It means we have to stop telling each other ideas that are wrong, and causing hate.

Hurting or not, we have to look for truth.

Settling for ideas that make us feel comfortable just doesn’t work. Doing that has brought us here, and there is simply no limit to how much pain these wrong ideas can cause. We could easily obliterate most of mankind, and still remain angry.

Anybody who has got this far, has probably noticed that looking at the world through this lens simplifies just about everything. People and situations begin to be logical, and understandable.

It feels good to understand what is happening, although the frustration of having to live in needless chaos becomes even more irritating, because we become aware that it’s not necessary, and easily prevented.

It comes down to needless chaos, hurt, conflict, loneliness, and hate. All for what? So somebody can get their own way?

We have had a good look at the situation, how it happened, and what caused the conflict, as we lost the natural trust we should be living with. We looked at the one issue causing the deviation from a normal trusting environment, and the necessary change to allow it back.

There is still the damage to each of us to look at. Is it possible to get our original identity back into play? Can we be our natural selves again?

We already understand it is the best person we can ever be, as well as the only person we can ever fully be.

How do we start?

As might seem obvious, it’s all about once again, revealing our true nature.

We are starting out with an incorrect belief, that everything natural about ourselves is defective. That’s why we hide it!

Would it be safe to openly broadcast everything we hold inside? It’s a bit of a trick question, because I have repeatedly pointed out everything original, and natural is safe, and joyous.

Consider this though. If a person has been denied expression for long periods of time, what other feelings and thoughts might have been generated, that are not quite so safe and innocent?

And that’s the problem!

Full expression is going to include feelings and behaviors that are riddled with frustration and defiance. That’s not so innocent. While perfectly reasonable, given the provocation at the time, full expression of any of this, could cause one-time trauma to any peace that still exists.

To broadcast everything within us at this point, can be dangerous to our image that we present to the world, and could also lead to the physical assault of others. Revealing our entire selves, is temporarily going to include our resentment at being shut down. We have to be careful who we reveal these feelings to!

Expression needs to be contained, until these reactions are finished with. They were perfectly reasonable when generated, but not part of the world we are going to arrive at, when the old repressed expression is out of the way!

With that consideration satisfied, we are clear to “let go”. With everything that we reveal, we are going to throw ourselves under the bus.

Every feeling we had to hide is now cloaked in shame, because we had to conceal it. Giving up our own identity was a terrifying experience. The feelings we are about to reveal, will be shrouded in fear.

To reconnect with our feelings, we have to go through all this.

Is it worth it? What’s life worth? That’s what we stand to get back!

This blog is clarity-of-innocence There are a lot of posts, all looking at the same phenomena, in various ways.

Thank you for allowing me to share.

Norm Cormier.