A timely question, wouldn’t you say? Life today completely ignores this issue!
Very few of us are capable of real relationships anymore!
Sure we think we’re great at it! We do everything the books tell us to do!
We give others everything we think they should get!
Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way, and it never did!
Being real!
Life is a battleground for most of us, and we call it love!
If we were a lucky child, and got to live from our own energy, we will be fully connected with our identity, needs, instincts, and awareness.
We will be fully aware of the needs of others!
We can hear it and feel it. Our relationships will be loving, all without effort!
That doesn’t happen much anymore though, if ever!
You see, adults are parenting from the book as well!
Everybody else’s needs are below the threshold of our awareness, or interest!
And, that explains why people are becoming more isolated and hostile everywhere!
Consequences!
We are all somewhat disconnected these days, due entirely to not having our own needs met back when it was critically important!
That means we cannot feel our own needs, and are therefore mostly unaware of the needs of others!
Our present situation!
Nobody is the least bit interested in meeting, or even discovering the needs of others!
We work hard at discovering what we want, and we work hard at learning to express it!
This sounds like it can’t work, does it not?
It sounds like a bunch of people all shouting at each other, with nobody listening!
Well, it is!
Of course, relationships are becoming less functional!
A good trick!
Want to be one of the very few who gets everything they need from others?
Approach this the right way, and not only does it work, it’s far easier than endless fighting, without getting what we want anyway!
Needs!
People have needs.
These are not complicated or unlimited.
They are easy to satisfy!
Try doing that!
An astonishing thing happens!
Besides suddenly getting unheard-of cooperation, we get a surprise!
We thought we understood life! What could surprise us?
Well, first comes an absence of hostility and conflict. We expected that.
Of course it’s a surprise how much easier life is by giving what others really need, rather than battling out all those things nobody ever cared about anyway!
But no, the surprise is much bigger than that!
We discover our own needs!
Now we have simplified our lives twice!
The direct language of needs!
We listen to what others really need! That, right away, cuts our workload down to only a few necessities, instead of infinity!
It doesn’t take long to begin to understand our own needs, once we discover this language!
Relationships, of course, become awesome, just like they should be! How could they not?
But now, we also have a direct line to what we should really be wanting if we are to make ourselves happy!
This is when we discover the needs of a human are all about responsibility, acceptance, cooperation, and feeling really, really good!
We don’t have to beat up the world after all. Everything we want most of all in our secret inner world is right there, free for the taking.
Needs, the most powerful language!
As we learn the language of needs, we become acceptable to more and more other people!
We live in less and less conflict!
Our own needs become met!
Can you imagine how much easier life becomes when we know what our own needs are?
When we can satisfy the needs of others, we have become absolutely indispensable!
How good, do you suppose, it feels to be absolutely indispensable?
Thanks for listening,
Good luck on your own journey!
This post is part of https://clarity of innocence.com You will probably need that address to find your way back!
Take care,
Norm Cormier
I welcome considering other thoughts.