Clarity of Innocence

We all crave trust and love with every cell of our bodies!

Living without acceptance as our real selves is agony for humans!

Unfortunately, most of us live at odds with those around us now. It’s our own behavior causing most of it.

As infants, living from our inner world, we can feel our need for love and acceptance.

We behave accordingly. It makes us as cooperative as possible, and loving. In this way, we get the love we need.

If our inner world could stay the way it started out, and the way it should, we would always be living in loving harmony with others!

But, in these times, we don’t get to keep living from the power of our pristine inner world!

Unbelievably, that alone is pretty much the world’s only problem. Living from the power of our inner worlds, we are all cooperative and loving.

If allowed to remain connected with our inner world, we get to keep our self-esteem, along with a firm connection to our needs and instincts, as we started out.

Consequently, we enjoy a lifetime of loving relationships!

Why do we lose companionship?

As adults, we can no longer feel our needs.

That’s because we have disconnected from our feelings.

We did that because of excessive hurt, from bad experiences that shouldn’t have happened!

Being unable to feel how much we need love and companionship, makes us unaware of our overwhelming need for acceptance and companionship.

Consequently, we behave foolishly! We do things that can’t ever make us happy, and we have no way of realizing that!

It’s not being allowed by others to live from the power of our own inner life that causes us overwhelming hurt.

With more hurt than we can live with, we disconnect from our feelings.

After doing that, it’s our own behavior that denies us the companionship and love that we need so much!

Our behavior then makes lasting love impossible!

It doesn’t matter that we can no longer feel our most powerful need. It’s our behavior that determines if we can have love!

Even in our disconnected condition, we can still have lasting love!

We need to behave as though the approval of others is critically important to us, as it actually is.

As infants, when we arrive into this world we enter within our own inner life, full of wonder!

We can feel everything within, and around us!

We each have a unique identity! It’s fixed. It cannot be changed. It was set at conception!

Our need is to be respected, encouraged, and loved, but through our own identity. We also need to learn to cope with life through our own inner drive and power!

But that isn’t what infants get right now. In these present times, they only get loved when they do as others wish!

These are the bad experiences that should never have happened! It hurts us critically to not be able to live from our own power!

Not having the right to develop from our own power has caused enough hurt, that we had to disconnect from our feelings to avoid that pain!

We have a powerful need to develop from our own self-esteem! If we can’t, we hurt, a whole lot! Life-threatening hurt!

It’s only humans that get pressure to be something other than ourselves!

Starting out, we have power! We call it self-esteem. We feel ready for anything. It’s not exactly self-confidence that we have. It’s more like inner power, and a complete absence of self-doubt!

We have instincts. This is the accumulated wisdom of mankind’s entire history. We can feel this.

In this condition, we are loving! Who doesn’t love an infant?

We have needs! We can feel them! They are always changing. Our lifetime job will be to satisfy these.

For humans, the first need is trust. We need a proper connection with others more than anything else.

This need requires us to be supportive and loving if we are to be trusted and accepted.

We have intellect, imagination, and memory.

With all of this working as it should, and as it did when we started out, life is a joy! Just look at the face of an infant!

Very few of us remember that the all-important need we have is to be loved!

That’s because we can’t feel our needs anymore!

Anybody who can feel their own needs though, will choose trust and love over absolutely everything else, immediately, and wholeheartedly.

That’s how important trust and companionship are to people. This craving only reveals itself though, when we can feel our needs!

For all humans, trust, and consequently love is by far our most important need!

Can’t feel our own needs?

For those of us who can’t feel our needs, we have no way of knowing what we want. We make choices that won’t make us happy.

We choose being important, being powerful, or being rich!

That mistake is caused by not being able to feel our own inner world!

Success with these substitute goals can never bring the inner comfort that trust and love do.

That’s easy to confirm. Just look at the winners! Do they look happy? Then look at people in love!

Trust and acceptance!

Not many of us recognize, or are ready to follow the only behaviors that make real and lasting love possible!

There are two requirements if we are to enjoy this level of inner peace!

Our first requirement

We express our entire real selves!

This will be difficult because we’ve been trained not to!

Not expressing our genuine selves is our standard upbringing these days!

Holding back though is a life sentence to not be ourselves.

Most of us are unaware that any of us expressing our entire real identity is the best we can ever be!

That’s our kindest, most compassionate condition!

People are naturally loving and cooperative. Playful too! It’s only when we have suffered damage that a mean streak can emerge!

In other words, there is nothing wrong with us being our true selves! We should never have stopped!

If all of us we in our genuine natural state, the world would be at peace!

Which brings us back to our first requirement for ongoing loving life!

If others can’t even see who we are, how could they possibly know if they like us?

Once we openly express our entire real selves, we will attract compatible people!

Now for the other requirement

We never, ever, direct another person in any way.

We don’t ever force, or even request the behavior or thoughts that we want from others.

Every expectation we thought we had a right to, is wrong!

We have natural rights as to how we should be treated! That’s fair!

We have no rights at all though as to how we wish others to behave! None! We deal with what happens!

We accept what we get. We allow complete expression of every person!

The surprise for us is what happens next! Bad behavior eases its way out, as much as it can with whatever trust still exists!

Bad behavior in humans is always caused by our insistence on controlling them!

All life comes from inside!

We need to allow that in others. That means we don’t try to control their behavior!

We accept it! We allow and try to enjoy what we get! This brings out the best in them!

Unfortunately, if they are too disconnected from their inner world, their best may not be good enough to manage loving relationships.

At first glance, it seems like this can’t work, doesn’t it! It appears to leave us helpless!

Well, it does work! It works thousands of times better in every way!

Not only do we receive infinitely better treatment this way, but life quickly regains its excitement!

People who love

Take a close look.

We see people happily in love, while most of us fight with each other.

We can see the glow of pure happiness!

What’s the difference between these loving people, and those of us who fight with each other?

Those very same two qualities!

Just take a real good look!

Is it worth giving up our demands for everything we think we want, to have loving relationships?

Of course, it is!

Whether or not we can feel our needs, if we satisfy them it still makes us happy! When we don’t, it makes us sad!

Do we want to feel happy? Then accept what others offer! No more demands!

Now, is a good time to open our eyes and get real!

People who can accept others as they are, already get everything they want, and a whole lot more!

It’s only those of us that try to push each other around that don’t!

With each win or loss, we demanders just carry the fight to the next level, living in perpetual conflict!

All that demanding people get is a hostile environment, and never-ending conflict!

This is the real nature of life and love!

Civilization

Most of us will choose to get our own way over enjoying trusting relationships!

If we could still feel our needs and feelings, we would never, ever do that! Our identities and our inner worlds crave trust above all else.

Demanding things from others destroys trust instantly! Of course, it does! It’s a straight-out declaration of a lack of trust!

That’s working against our own happiness!

And that’s what will happen! We will be unhappy!

How did we get this way?

Why can’t we feel our own needs?

Infants

It started here!

Life comes from inside!

Long ago people chose to forget that!

We chose to superimpose rules and restrictions on new lives struggling to achieve mastery over the environment through their own efforts and energy!

They were already doing great!

Then we overruled their inner-drive.

That was their self-esteem!

We increased our interference with their self-driven progress one step at a time, over many generations!

As this developed, we lost trust throughout civilization.

This process has taken us to where the world is now!

Most people are hostile to each other now!

Which takes us progressively further away from allowing life to come from inside!

Which should theoretically increase the conflict!

And, so it has!

Magnificently! People are at each other’s throats now!

People live with hate within them. Just look at the news!

Our reaction to the resulting conflict has caused us to double-down on rules and demands.

It is becoming increasingly evident that the way we are going is taking us deeper into trouble!

Well, there was, and still is another solution!

Allow others to keep living in the inner world they were born into! Allow infants to find their own way as they are so desperately wanting and trying to do.

That’s what they want! It’s what they’ve always wanted!

Life is powered from within!

If infants can keep the inner life, the way they started out, there will never be a need for any rules in the first place!

They can feel their own needs in this condition, and their needs are for trust and love!

Look at the mess we have caused by ignoring that!

But, then again, look how easy it is to bring trust back into the world!

All we have to do is to change that one habit!

Allow life to come from within!

Respect it! Encourage it!

Watch the magical changes!

Can we change?

Didn’t it take 100 years to admit the earth wasn’t the center of the universe?

I don’t believe we have 100 years left to change this habit of ours and allow life to be self-driven, as it is anyway, although broken!

We still have pockets of peace and trust in various places throughout the world!

Unfortunately, I expect there are many trying to teach them the proper way to live! How ironic! We will teach hate!

Getting through to people who are stuck in destructive ideas is certainly a challenge.

I expect it requires convincing one person at a time, then someone with influence taking up the cause!

Even when a good grasp of the real situation provides predictable and accurate results every time, people seem to want to cling to what they already believe anyway!

The world might be moving gradually toward this better direction anyway though, even if most don’t realize it.

The helpless have rights now! When those natural rights also become infant’s rights, the overpowering of our infant’s inner lives will come to an end!

Should an infant have the right to live their own identity?

It is indeed sad, that a question such as this would ever need to be asked.

Kids have a natural right to keep the inner world they are born into!

Through that inner world, they can feel their own needs! Their instincts and feelings too!

Surely they should get the right to remain fully connected with their own inner world!

This way they get to keep emotional health!

They won’t hurt (or suffer anxiety instead)!

One generation later we’ll begin to regain trust throughout our population!

Trusting people are internally healthy and non-destructive! A little playful too!

They also have no wish to control others.

Overpopulation is a comfort for the hurt and troubled.

Overpopulation will certainly diminish as people become untroubled. That eases the pressure on our environment.

People who trust also don’t destroy the environment to get rich! The way they already feel is infinitely more rewarding to them than wealth could ever provide!

Returning to our natural condition of trust is all good. There is no downside.

Right now we all behave poorly. It’s because we never had a chance to keep a connection with our identities, and we hurt inside because of it!

And still, we have trouble seeing the one change that can fix it. It’s not like this is a mystery! It’s right there to see in every relationship on the planet!

There is hope!

We can fix everything with one change!

We are getting so close to infant rights that it will probably happen soon anyway, like it or not!

Does an infant have the right to live their own identity?

They did once, and hopefully, they will again!

How to keep love?

Allow others to live from their own inner lives!

Accept them as they are. If they’re not acceptable, find someone who is!

Pushing others into the plan we choose, is the one thing that has caused all this trouble!

If we can completely avoid doing that, we get to be the people every else is jealous of!

We can bask in the warm love of those around us, while the rest battle on!

That’s the secret of keeping love!

No demands! Ever!

This post is part of https://clarity-of-innocence.com To find your way back, you may need the web address. Links are always changing.

Thanks for listening.

Good luck on your own journey.

Take care,

Norm Cormier!