Clarity of Innocence

The people around us have, by far, the biggest influence on how good we are going to feel, as we go through life.

Our existence these days amounts to feeling endlessly criticized while fighting to rise above the hurt that we live with.

The alternative is we fall into line, do everything as we are expected, and enjoy a life free from criticism, but our inner lives are filled with fear, and our real identity may as well not exist.

For most of us, we know there are ways to live our own real life, but it would mean standing alone, and we no longer have the power to do that.

What do we really need? From conception on, we need to be accepted and valued, just as we were created.

How would we react?

We don’t know!

It just doesn’t happen! And that’s the tragedy of our present lives.

This society doesn’t know how to allow us to be our true selves.

If it did, every one of us would be an infinitely better person.

Those around us might have a better chance of feeling comfortable as their real selves.

Unbelievable, I know. But, that’s the actual condition of our present environment.

Is it any wonder there’s trouble? Is it even worth living anymore?

What’s the problem?

Criticism! We attack each other without end.

Why?

Because we hurt!

We attempt to minimize our hurt by controlling as much as we can. We control the people around us.

Sure, we don’t all do it. It only takes a few though, to get us all thinking the same way. If those that control us disappeared, most of us would immediately step up and do the same thing.

Here we all are now. We control each other. We think it’s normal. Nobody gets to live their own real life. Nobody lives out loud. There doesn’t seem to be any way out!

The entire system is in the process of gradually getting worse, because of its very nature. Criticism feeds misery, which causes criticism.

There is no good ending!

The value of life is at a really low ebb. All we have left is talking. Our feelings are gone. We can’t even feel our instincts anymore. We live with staggering anxiety. Our connection with our bodies and other life is gone.

Is there a way out?

Any one of us can start living our own real lives. The criticism will be insane, even from, and perhaps especially from the professionals.

In our original condition, we could stand up to that. After a childhood in this environment, few of us can.

The irony is, we would immediately be a better person.

Once we give up on ever getting the approval from others that we desperately need, but also recognize we are never going to get, we can begin a return to our real nature.

The real nature of people is not as we assume! Healthy humans are kind, compassionate, and fun-loving.

It’s the criticized people, fighting for acceptance that are normally angry, violent, and full of hate.

It takes a strong person to live their own life, feeling and respecting their own needs, and struggling to regain the natural connections they once had, while all the time under attack by those still determined to control them, all through criticism of course!

It’s the only real life still available though!

This would be one of the very few people completely free from any need to control others!

This person can have a real relationship!

Being completely free from pressure brings out the very best in people.

Those still struggling to satisfy others are so overwhelmed with demands on them, they require control over others just to keep those demands within limits.

The children!

Now we come to how we arrived in this mess.

Caregiving is easy.

All life comes with a fixed identity, and the power to survive independently through their own resources, if at all possible.

They only need a helping hand to survive long enough to do it.

This healthy partnership enjoys unlimited trust and love flows freely.

If we try to interfere with that process at all, the power, otherwise known as the self-esteem of the infant suffers.

With reduced self-esteem, no child can stand up to the criticism of our present world. Even complying doesn’t bring peace or relief.

Most of the demands they get work against their own self-esteem, so life is a never ending struggle.

The resultant kids are not powerful enough to live their own identities.

That’s how the world got here, like it is!

Kids with low self-esteem become adults with low self-esteem, and they build an entirely different world than a healthy one.

The kids power was their self-esteem. We just have to keep that power intact, at all costs.

We weakened our kids through reducing their self-esteem by not accepting them as they really were.

They needed to power their own way. We were supposed to help them to do that. That’s not what we did!

The result is this world as we see it now!

It will be difficult to fix. Few of us have the strength to stand on our own.

We all crave approval, but when we have to sacrifice our own identity to get it, we lose our inner power.

The way back.

We need to allow our children to live their own identities, and keep their own power, which is their self-esteem!

Allow them to keep their own natural strength. They will turn the world around. It won’t even take many of them.

The moment it becomes acceptable to live our own power, our own identity, the dam will burst.

Health will break out! It will be a new epidemic. One of approval, not criticism.

This post will still get a few changes intended to make it clearer.

Thanks for listening.

Good luck on your own journey,

Take care,

Norm