Sadly, we’ve grown up believing in values that make good relationships impossible.
Few, if any of us know how amazingly good relationships can get, and how safe and enjoyable we feel, every moment of every day.
That way of life now lies well outside of most people’s experience.
Our relationships are more like standoffs! We demand what we think we need. So do others. Then we defend ourselves.
WHAT HAPPENED TO US?
Everything good about people has always come from deep within!
We are all loving and responsible, but only in our natural condition!
Unfortunately, though, we no longer get to live in our natural condition. Ever!
We aren’t encouraged, or even allowed to power our lives from the inside.
That’s what has changed everything!
All the rest of life on the planet still does, of course.
But, we no longer get to learn to survive through our own efforts. Our own power and instinctive wisdom are no longer allowed to play any part in our lives.
Our parents are supposed to use their own instincts to raise us. That would guide them into supporting and encouraging us to succeed through our own efforts and strength.
But, our parents don’t get to do that either!
They must follow the rulebook, or stand alone!
What rulebook?
A man-made one, for the benefit of those in power who select values that profit them. They are unaware that they are working against their own happiness.
They pursue goals that can never bring them peace or happiness, and destroy relationships everywhere in the process!
They remain convinced that having all the marbles will make them happier, right in the face of direct proof that it never does!
They’re running the world, and running it into oblivion.
NATURAL RELATIONSHIPS!
These can only happen through our instincts, needs, and feelings.
If we were allowed to grow up through our own power and energy, we would already know how to behave for strong unbreakable relationships.
If not, which includes just about all of us, we need to relearn the instinctive way to behave if we are to enjoy this gift that can bring us the joy we unknowingly crave!
HOW SHOULD WE BEHAVE?
Our instincts should be telling us. Otherwise, we need to learn and understand just how much we need other people.
Of course, the others that we need are only those who are living through their own power.
Those who can’t will be no help to us unless we are happy fighting.
THE GOLDEN RULE!
We need to allow and encourage others to fully express and live from their own power and energy. We have to take all the chains off!
This works! Life is designed to do that, and only that!
Our advice has no value when compared to the instincts, feelings, and needs that people already have. Compared to those superpowers, our advice is sadly lacking.
Our interference will only generate a world like this, instead of a world of competence, honor, compassion, and play.
If we can support their own efforts and power though, it makes us safe to be around.
Only then, is it safe for them to allow themselves to love us.
Then, we get to live from our inner lives as well if we can relearn how!
This is what a real relationship is!
Limits don’t exist in relationships. They can be as big as life itself. This is everything! This is exactly what we all crave with every cell in our bodies.
Conversations are great. With both parties already in agreement that each owns their own lives, there is no maneuvering. People living from their own power don’t have greed. It’s only an exchange of information. It takes hardly any time.
When we enter therapy and begin learning about ourselves, inner strength and wisdom are what we discover. We gradually recognize that we crave relationships. This usually requires us to change. When we can feel our own needs though, we change faster because we want to.
WE CAN CHANGE VOLUNTARILY
We don’t have to wait for our needs to tell us we need to accept and value the power and energy of others.
We can do it now.
If we do, we get what we need. We get it even while not recognizing that we need it.
We become likable. We begin to get the best of life. Our attitude makes us comfortable and happy even though we can’t feel how important these reationships are to us.
Life has never been about money. We need access to our instincts, needs, and feelings though to know that.
It’s about relationships. It’s about feeling valued and loved! That’s what makes us feel good!
Money doesn’t! Just look at those with money. Do they look happy to you? Now take a look at somebody with good relationships!
Thanks for listening.
Good luck on your journey.
This post is part of https://clarity-of-innocence.com
Take care,
Norm Cormier
I welcome considering other thoughts.