Who should we be listening to?
I’m going to tell you a secret! When we stop demanding what we want from people, the next thing that happens is they exhibit more of their natural wish to please us!
We may not get everything we want, but we can easily live without conflict, and with trust.
After that, love happens naturally!
Contrary to popular assumptions, if somebody isn’t naturally concerned about our needs, something has already gone wrong.
Healthy people are compassionate, just because that’s who people really are!
If we are serious about making our lives better, there is only one source of guaranteed accurate information!
What source?
Needs! Our needs! The needs of others! Most important of all, the needs of the newborn!
When we return to our normal condition of being in tune with the needs of others, the world will begin to right itself! This is a promise!
Throughout the natural world, every living thing is intimately connected with its own needs!
Life is supposed to feel its needs! That only makes sense.
So then, what are our needs?
We don’t know???
We are just guessing?
What then, is the probability of us getting it right?
There is no chance at all! Especially with relentless advertising in our faces all our waking hours!
We should be feeling our needs! We should also be aware of the needs of others.
Life could, and should be amazingly comfortable and loving. That’s just what humans really are.
We waste so much of the magical love of life being at such a distance from each other!
We don’t feel needs! Why?
We have each disconnected somewhat from our own feelings! That’s why!
Why would we do that?
Because we hurt. Removing ourselves from our feelings eases our hurt!
No human should ever hurt all the time like this!
That hurt alone is responsible for causing all of our world-wide misery!
Really! That’s all that’s wrong! People are not self-destructive at all!
The human race is living in a “catch-22” situation!
Because we can’t feel our own needs, or our instincts for that matter, we can’t sense the needs of our offspring!
We do the best we can of course, but without feedback it’s always going to be a tragically wrong guess!
We take care of our young, bundle them up, and keep them safe at any cost!
Unfortunately, this is the opposite of what they need!
What are their needs?
All life is driven by its own power.
It has it’s own needs, it’s own plans, and is self-driven.
This is what our children are!
Help them, and they will love you forever!
Shut them down, re-direct them, and they will be angry and resentful, but unable to sort out what went wrong!
All life is complete at conception! It doesn’t need guidance!
No life needs guidance!
No life wants guidance!
Identities, along with instincts have evolved to make life work.
Identities and instincts know what they’re doing. Their playbook is grounded only in reality.
A human without guidance lives from their own identity, is happy, feels powerful, and is playful as well as non-destructive.
That’s what people really are! Trusting and loving highly social creatures!
When we attempt to provide guidance, we overpower the hard won messages coming from their own identity through eons of experience!
The consequence of our efforts is hurt.
Not only were their own instincts infinitely better at protecting them through life, but any interference causes them so much hurt that their feelings have to be abandoned just to get any comfort!
Now this person can no longer feel their needs either.
This person no longer has a conscience!
They have become capable of anything!
Unfortunately, this is most, if not all of us right now!
When we can’t feel our feelings, we can’t feel our needs. When we can’t feel our needs, we can’t give our young what they need either!
This traumatizes them so much they grow up not being able to feel their own feelings either!
Then, they treat their young the same way!
The human race is stuck in this way!
Unfortunately, this condition is also a downward spiral!
Now this is a lot to say!
It wouldn’t fly unless there was some truth here.
The truth is here all right! This insight works like magic!
It works every time! Allowing independence produces the strongest, most well-adjusted, happiest, most capable, and most cooperative humans.
Nature knows what it’s doing!
There is no defiance! No rebellion! No conflict.
There is trust, love, and fun!
The conflict is, and always was about us attempting to override another person’s identity, and about them trying to defend it against a more powerful opponent, which unfortunately is us!
It’s true! What more can be said?
The only way to escape the downward spiral of the human race is to, child by child, allow them to live from their own identity.
Imagine that! Living from their own identity! What a strange idea!
Please excuse the sarcasm.
They will be not only powerful but cooperative and fun!
It always works! Looking around at other families and cultures, we can see the evidence!
It’s a giant leap away from what our culture is preaching! Well, consider it.
Do any leaders want healthy, independent citizens? People with strong identities who can’t be manipulated?
That’s a fair question. They will be the best leaders if they do!
As it turns out, the more that people are free to follow their own identity and instincts, the more honor they have, and the more morally responsible they are!
Nature knows what it’s doing! (As said before!)
Still not sure? Try it! Allow independence! Support and encourage it!
Doing this allows trust to exist! Not the trust we are so proud of these days. Real, full-out trust! Absolutely no secrets are necessary trust!
No other form of life intentionally keeps secrets from friends!
Look around at the past of the strongest and most trusted people around. Did they come from a past of being controlled, or was their past one of support and approval to pursue goals through their own efforts.
There is no way we can protect our young and expect sudden strength and competence when they turn 18!
Believing, and expecting that is just self-delusional!
Competence in life requires both experience, and the strength we were born with.
The only way possible for our young to keep their original power is to be allowed to live through their own efforts, and instincts.
That’s what we see throughout nature. Perhaps that’s why we feel so good when we go into the wild.
This post is part of https://clarity-of-innocence.com It may be necessary to remember the site address to return. Links are always changing!
Thanks for listening!
Good luck on your own journey,
Take care,
Norm Cormier
I welcome considering other thoughts.