This might be hard to believe at first.
It’s the way we treat our kids that is causing our almost worldwide conflict, and then our widespread loneliness.
If our approach were to match their needs, then resentment wouldn’t happen!
Defiance and hostility would never develop.
All life has basic needs, and this includes our children.
Life is self-driven, and it’s intense. It’s an insane push into survival and the satisfaction of meeting needs.
If we respect and honor that process in newborns, as all other life does, conflict never happens.
Absolute trust and cooperation happen instead.
The proof is in the results. It works for all life.
Every life is meant to have its own power, driving its own success.
Allow that, and every relationship is trusting, comfortable, and infinitely satisfying wherever that’s possible.
When it comes to trust, support, and pure love, humans are at the absolute peak of this evolution.
We should be enjoying the benefits of this incredibly valuable and loving ability.
We all know it’s possible! We’ve seen it!
How do we keep it though?
If we can see life as it really is, and deal with it in that way, then we get to live in trust.
Living in trust means cooperation and love! It means a complete absence of conflict!
All we have to do is to see our children as they really are!
They are self-contained, self-sufficient, and reaching for the stars.
When we support them in those efforts, all conflict vanishes!
What happens when we choose to see them as helpless and needy, and then put our own limits on their behavior?
We set up conflict and defiance that permeates our entire civilization!
It’s true! This is where all the hate and trouble is coming from!
We have unintentionally set up a war with our own young, which has then spread throughout society as they grow up!
This is the root! Do you have a problem with your teenager?
This is why!
Do you have a problem with a neighboring country?
This is why!
The proof? See our young as they really are! Support their efforts.
See them as new life, with their own power, fighting to learn life!
Just watch all conflict fade away, to be replaced with trust and cooperation!
Sounds insane doesn’t it? How could anything be that easy?
Well everything is always that easy, once we begin to see it as it really is!
What we seem to struggle with is our tendency to see things as we wish them to be, and not as they really are!
It took a hundred years or so to recognize that our world was not the center of the universe, and that the earth was round, not flat.
We were stuck, making no progress until we accepted this truth!
That’s how life works!
Now we need to accept truth about our young. They don’t want our limits! They want to keep their amazing inner drive, and use it to accomplish their own potential.
When we allow and help them, they will begin to trust us.
The next thing that happens is they begin asking our advice!
Try it! It’s true!
Our job is to support and encourage our young, as all other life does!
Our job is not to take over, wrap them up, and put an end to their self-driven efforts.
When we take over, we destroy trust and we create the fighting that dominates our world now!
That conflict all comes from us!
With the natural ability of humans to trust and love with our whole hearts, to be in conflict is an absolute tragedy and a terrible waste!
Any of us can live in absolute trust any time we are ready! It works in every relationship.
All we have to do is support the independence of others.
Another name for this could be respect!
When we live in conditions of love and trust, our behavior is at its very best. We are completely non-destructive.
That’s because we already have what we crave the most. We can feel our own needs when we’re in this condition.
We don’t chase false dreams that can never satisfy!
To ignore our legacy of pure trust and love is to live a life of lonely desperation.
To live a life of pure trust and love only requires seeing life as it really is, and not as we decide it should be!
It’s a fact that whenever we decide to see things as we choose, rather than accepting reality, we become stuck!
Most of us live this way most of our lives, and consider it normal!
So much more is possible! It’s all free as well!
Most of our goals will never make us happy. That’s because we can’t feel our needs. Without knowing that, how would it be possible to please ourselves?
If we were not supported in our own efforts in our own infancy, we had to disconnect within ourselves to varying degrees.
That’s what happens when life doesn’t get support in driving its own behavior.
In this case, the trick to finding our way is not through choosing goals but rather through learning how to please ourselves.
Others will come and go, being mostly unpredictable. Trying to control that leads to despair.
We need to focus on expressing everything that is really us. That’s what we did when we were little, and it worked then.
Others will sort out for themselves if they like us or not, but this time it will be real!
The truth is, the more we learn to express what is really us, the more people tend to like us!
The odd thing is that it soon no longer matters. We only need a few people that sincerely like us as we really are, to be absolutely satisfied with life.
Good luck on your own journey,
This post is part of https://clarity-of-innocence.com
Thanks for listening.
Take care,
Norm Cormier
I welcome considering other thoughts.