If we can hear and respect our own needs, we will have immunity from anxiety, unless trapped of course!
Not only that, but health, energy, good relationships, and just plain feeling good, become possible, things that just don’t normally exist in this success-driven environment!
I would expect, that by any measurement, these comforts have by far the greatest impact on our individual happiness!
Feeling good, we don’t make demands on other people.
Right there, good relationships have become possible!
No good relationship has any partner forcing different behavior on any other.
Yes, accepting only what is offered can work, and it works way better! Others then get the motivation to please.
Making others behave just sets up permanent conflict.
People always have the ability to give what is needed. The only reason they don’t is because they are hurting. Making them do as we wish only adds to that hurt.
Unfortunately, most, if not all of us can’t even feel our own needs!
That makes finding a place for ourselves pretty difficult!
Our needs are always supposed to be our driving force, and they certainly were when we began our lives.
Needs are the driving force of all life.
So, what happened to us that we can’t feel our own needs?
This happens early for children in these times. Caregivers unintentionally cause it.
When it comes to bringing up our children, the entire world has drifted in the same general direction.
Accepting expression of our children’s real identity, along with the open expression of their real needs, has become a lost art.
This has caused massive changes for the kids, then the world as they grow up and cause changes!
Now, none of us can talk openly, right from our hearts.
We are all also our own worst critics. We second-guess our own thoughts and behavior. This seems to get worse as we age.
We can no longer express any of our most important selves openly and completely.
Love has changed from open-hearted full-out feelings to lesser feelings, wishful thinking, and talking.
This is a tragedy. A tragedy not only for us but for the world-wide population.
Caregivers don’t have the energy to work with infants who still have the full power of “who they are”.
There are rules for the kids about what parts of “who they are” are going to be allowed expression.
They find themselves keeping most of “who they are” secret.
The consequence of that one action has caused this environment to become a troubled, dangerous, and unfeeling world!
None of us get to be who we really are!
The unfortunate truth is we are all at our very best when completely accepted. A world full of people with good self-esteem is invariably peaceful, and cooperative.
Want proof? Let it happen for a while!
People want to believe they are turning their children into the best they can be.
Every life was already the best it can be though, right at conception.
To please our caregivers in their requests, the best any infant can do is censor those parts of itself that don’t fit.
This isn’t an improvement.
It’s damage.
The condition of the resultant world show that!
Let’s go back to why we can’t feel our own needs anymore.
When we start out, our identity is an assembly of our drive to survive, our needs, our instincts, and an impressive all-around awareness of the world around, and within us.
When we find ourselves censored, our “drive to survive” cannot remain strong through the resulting conflict.
It was our power, our energy, and our self-esteem though!
Its job was to power us through life. Now it’s no longer allowed to do that job!
It’s our identity that got censored! It doesn’t know how to stop, or give up though! It makes us rebel. That causes more conflict. We hurt!
Repression happens. Our inner team separates. We disconnect within ourselves because we hurt. We can no longer reach the most exciting parts of ourselves. We can no longer feel our own needs. We can’t connect with much of our feelings, identity, or instincts either.
We no longer want to, because they hurt!
That’s why we can’t feel our own needs!
That’s the cost of not welcoming complete identities into the world. We all pay.
We may wish to be comfortable by having others behave to our standards.
Unfortunately, we are going to be a lot more uncomfortable with the final consequences of trying to change, or subdue any part of anybody!
An identity cannot change.
That’s not a bad thing!
All the problems we are so obsessed with preventing, are pretty much the results of our own interference in the first place!
An infant is a lovely thing. We can feel the trust and love, and we glory in it. It gives us energy rather than making us tired.
If we don’t try to change it, it stays lovely!
Thanks for listening,
Good luck on your own journey,
Take care,
Norm
I welcome considering other thoughts.