Having confidence along with high self-esteem is the consequence of being lucky.
We all have an identity. It uses instincts, feelings, all of our senses, and awareness of our inner condition and the world, to power and guide us in all of our efforts.
As an infant and young child there is no such a thing as low self-esteem or low confidence. We feel powerful, and we always go “all in” with everything that we do.
So, what happens to us, to spoil this wonderful existence?
Most, if not all of us don’t get nurtured!
Instead of being supported in our own efforts to become capable, we get told to be obedient. Everything we try, we become redirected.
When we try to satisfy the natural needs, coming from our own identity, we get punished.
Mankind has forgotten how to nurture!
What happens when we are not allowed to develop through our own resources?
We hurt. This is life or death to our identity. This is a threat to any life, but it’s only people that have to suffer in this way.
The hurt is bad enough that we find it necessary to disconnect from our own feelings, just to avoid the pain.
Would this affect our self-esteem, or our confidence? Of course it does. Most of us have really poor self-esteem when compared to natural life!
That’s why we have secrets instead of “living out loud”.
None of this is fair, but it’s what most, if not all of us have to live with!
Our only option if we are going to make the effort of fixing things, is to reconnect with those hurt feelings.
They still hurt. Each reconnection we make is going to feel bad.
There will be guilt, because we honestly felt like this was our fault. It wasn’t, but we didn’t know that at the time. There will be fear. Being on our own without the power of our identity is, of course frightening. There will be lots, and lots of shame. We felt inadequate! We actually believed we were at fault. We weren’t, of course. We weren’t bad either. Our identity wanted to power our life, as it should, and it got us into trouble, which should never have had to happen.
The trick of recovery is to accept these horrible feelings into our life. They are us now. As we accept them, everything starts getting better. We just begin to feel good, and that makes us appear more attractive.
We begin to have fun. It becomes a new chapter in our lives. Any effort in this direction brings more inner content, happiness, and better relationships than any amount of money ever could. Of course self-esteem and confidence begin to grow back. This is where real life is at!
Hope this helps,
Good luck on your journey.
This post is part of clarity-of-innocence.com
Thanks for listening!
Take care,
Norm.
I welcome considering other thoughts.