Without trust, our lives become fearful! Our behavior becomes defensive. We withdraw!
Then we become suspicious of others.
We begin presenting ourselves not as we are, but as we wish others to see us.
This is a lifetime task, and a lifetime disappointment!
It’s also the same as living in exile!
In these times, we are all living in the midst of less and less trust! That means less honesty! Less truth!
Without trust, we all hurt.
With all of us in this same condition, life is different now.
Compared to being our real selves, it’s hardly worth being alive.
There is hope though.
A lack of trust is pretty much all that’s wrong!
If we can get trust back, all of our problems are gone!
When we don’t hurt, we don’t look for drugs to make ourselves feel better.
That alone removes a whole lot of the worlds problems.
With trust, we have no need to present an image to the world. Can you imagine the difference in life if we could all just be ourselves?
Trusting people are kind. They aren’t in trauma! They have no need to be defensive.
They can relate to others just the way we could when we were two. We didn’t care what color others were then. It didn’t matter what they looked like! We engaged with all our heart. We just wanted to play!
Well guess what?
WE STILL DO!
We loved every minute of life.
Can you see how life has changed. This is not about having to find housing, or being mature!
It’s about the loss of trust!
If we can wake ourselves up, and smell the roses, we can still have that back!
It doesn’t matter how old we are!
That one issue, our loss of trust, can and did, bring us from peaceful communities to our present defensive and adversarial way of living.
It’s getting so there’s not many of us left that aren’t on drugs in one form or another!
All life starts out with all the inner power we should ever need, and absolute trust!
If we could keep that, we would be living in Utopia.
Well, we really can keep it!
The changes required are not that great.
First we need to accept truth, let go of trying to present ourselves differently than we really are, and see the world only as it really is, no matter what!
We need to live it! That puts us on the road to being completely natural once again!
Anybody not willing to accept reality doesn’t really deserve the comfort of absolute trust anyway!
Let’s move on.
We call our own power self-esteem.
Surprisingly, self-esteem and trust turn out to be just about the same thing!
Both of them are always together and they form the source of our inner power!
They are the roots of health as well!
Having these, is the difference between feeling good, and feeling anxious!
There is no better existence, or feeling, than living in complete trust!
It’s the default condition for humans!
It needs to be recognized that a completely healthy person is naturally a trusting person.
They can be trusted as well!
Surprisingly, we become untrusting only after physical change has happened!
That physical change is disconnection. We disassociate!
We lose intimate contact with our identity, feelings, instincts, and body!
Most of us are like this now.
Therefore, the vast majority of people in the present cannot be trusted!
They will take advantage of anyone who allows it.
Why do we all get this way?
Our infants enter a world they cannot trust!
They must change, simply to survive in it!
That’s why!
That’s all that’s wrong!
They hurt.
First they hurt, then they disassociate to survive that pain.
Then they need ten years of therapy to recover from their own upbringing!
Even then they only return a small fraction of the way back into natural and perfect health!
Raising them in a healthy way, instead of our presently “approved” way, provides a small platform of trust and health for any family to enjoy.
It’s an oasis of comfort!
What is it then, that we do to make them hurt so badly?
Nurture is a partnership!
We do our part!
THEN WE DO THEIR PART AS WELL!
No identity is capable of living with that much interference!
This isn’t a choice! It’s a consequence!
Want paradise?
All we have to do is stop causing our own trouble.
To remain strong, an infant’s identity absolutely needs to power it’s own way.
Every living thing needs that!
We need to allow that!
Learning has to occur in tune with the timetable of the infant. Otherwise it’s coming at the wrong time.
The lessons to be learned have to fit into the arena of the infants already understood knowledge base as well.
Otherwise it will be ignored because it makes no sense just yet. Only the infant knows when they need new information!
Forced knowledge, out of order, causes trauma!
Every life on the planet plots it’s own course.
Trying to do it differently causes hurt.
Every life is different. They all manage obstacles differently. Only they know how they are going to deal with life.
Being force fed a standard plan of action causes excruciating hurt!
There is so much more!
If we want a real person, then we have to allow that person to be real!
This works! It works like some kind of magic!
Conflict doesn’t ever appear.
Not only that but learning happens in a totally different way than we ever expected, and happens at the same accelerated rate that they used when they learned to walk, and to talk!
Most importantly of all, trust is not shattered.
We get trust. Live turns lovely!
Is there really any point educating our young to a high degree, if we have destroyed their own strength in the process?
Not only that, but they are absolutely guaranteed to go much farther and faster under their own steam than they ever would have with our interference.
They go where they want to as well!
Do you think they might love us for that?
Do you think they love us for forcing them into the path we choose?
None of this will be as we choose! It will be better and more accurate for them though.
It will be a lot more fun for us.
They will be successful beyond our wildest dreams. They will be successful doing as they wish. That might be the definition of real success!
If we can’t live with that, it’s us with the problem, not them!
When kids allowed to go their own way don’t learn, it’s because the information is something they are never going to want, or else it’s just not available yet.
When kids who have been force fed don’t learn, it’s because they’re in defiance. It’s been a while since we have seen any kid who is not in some degree of defiance.
That’s not their fault!
This is their life, not ours!!!
These steps are necessary for trust. It makes our lives infinitely better.
There is an old story. I think it was supposed to be about hell.
All everybody had to eat with was a ridiculously long spoon.
It was impossible to feed yourself, but you could feed others.
Are you capable of feeding others, and hoping they help you?
This post is part of https://clarity-of-innocence.com
Thanks for listening!
Good luck on your own journey!
Take care,
Norm Cormier
I welcome considering other thoughts.